


Thoughts on the Road: Addie's Entries

by leaper182



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Mental Health Issues, Semi-Realistic Depiction of PTSD?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 38
Words: 39,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29599452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leaper182/pseuds/leaper182
Summary: A young squire of 17 years is finally ready to venture out into the world beyond the magical shield that has kept her, her mother, and the knight who trained her safe for the past thirteen years.Her quest: to become a knight.Why?There must always be a Pennington in the knighthood. There must always be a Rose among the Penningtons. And since she's the last living Pennington, she's the family's last hope.Now it's a question of whether she will be equal to the task.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 2





	1. Dramatis Personae

**Author's Note:**

> For any readers who subscribed to me as an author, this is going to be a real switch.
> 
> Since March 2020, I've been playing in an AD&D 2nd Edition game set in the DragonLance setting. Unbeknownst to us in the beginning, we're playing through the setting around the time of the War of the Lance, but we're playing a separate storyline while the war rages on around us.
> 
> I didn't want to put this under the DragonLance fandom tag because fans of that body of work might or might not be disappointed in what happens in our game. The character I play, for example, is Adrianna Pennington, a daughter of a Solamnic Knight who is trying to become a Solamnic Knight herself because she thinks she has to. From what I understand, women might not have been allowed to join the order in canon, so we're already making a big departure.
> 
> While I tend to think of using AO3 as "posting a fic", this is more along the lines of using AO3 as an archive for the game. These entries are already available on a group that's private only to us, but I wanted to have it for my own records, as it were. I'll try to remember to update this file as new entries are posted.
> 
> If you decide to follow along, feel free to do so, but chapters might get moved around or inserted since there was a gap when I wasn't writing character journal entries. A dramatis personae might also become a Chapter 0 so that anyone reading along doesn't get entirely confused. Each entry will get its own chapter, but they will be short because I've encountered Facebook's character limit a few times.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the dramatis personae of the DragonLance Uncharted game. This will be updated as more characters that are relevant to the plot are introduced. Minor characters who have an impact on Addie will likely not be listed here unless there is someone who wants to know more information about them.

Due to the fact that the game is ongoing, and I haven't asked the players if I could post information about them, I'm going to just keep this to the characters themselves. I'm not going to post any mechanical stuff other than what gets mentioned in the journal entries.

_Current Characters_

Adrianna Pennington (Addie) - Human Knight of the Sword  
TikTik Bramblebing - Kender Bard  
Melinora Brightgleam - Silvanesti Elf Wizard of the Red Robes  
Malachite - Half-Elf Druid/Ranger

_Previous Characters_

Athlas - Kagonesti Elf Fighter  
Skammous Silverforge - Dwarf Cleric of Reorx  
Atzca'El - Bakali Cleric of Sirrion

_People related to Addie specifically that will get mentioned_

Lord Arcturus Pennington, former Knight of Solamnia  
Lady Marcelline Pennington, nee Trent  
Edmund Pennington, Wizard of the White Robes (casting choice - [Tom Cavanagh from 2003](https://www.cc.com/video/oyr8pr/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-tom-cavanagh), only with fewer smiles)  
Brendan Pennington, former Knight of Solamnia (casting choice - [Jan Josef Liefers from 1998](https://janjosefliefers-fanseite.com/2013/12/04/rosa-roth-jerusalem-oder-die-reise-in-den-tod-1998/))

Sir John Rittermark, Knight of the Crown (casting choice - [Peter Cushing from 1977](https://youtu.be/lAAXorA4pg8?t=26))  
Lady Bathia Pennington, Knight of the Rose (casting choice - same as Addie)  
Lord Brantley Pennington, Knight of Solamnia

[Any characters with unknown ranks in the Solamnic Knighthood are listed as "Knight of Solamnia"]


	2. Session 4: March 10, 2020 [4 Chislmont 350]

Carrying firewood, Addie had to admit, wasn't actually that bad.

It had been one of the chores that she'd done since she was ten, but it was one of the few where she could see just how much progress she had made. Jousting against hay bales at the Holdigen farm was fun, but seeing just how much firewood she was able to carry (and seeing the startled expressions on the faces of the servants when she did so) showed that she wasn't just an underfed slip of a girl anymore. She was still a squire, but she was getting closer to being a knight.

One day, someone would rely on her for protection, or as a comrade in arms. She wasn't sure when, but it would happen, and she would be ready.

Shifting the weight resting on her back, she looked up in time to see Elder Longbeard taking a leisurely stroll along the dirt track, possibly down the pub. She took a moment to pause and give him a polite nod.

"Morning, Elder Longbeard." She managed a haphazard bow. "I hope you're well?"

Regus Longbeard, a tall human with a carefully-maintained beard that reached to his waist, eyed her curiously. "I am, Miss Trent, though I must admit I'm rather surprised at seeing you here."

Addie took a moment to look around at the track, the open fields, and then back at the man. "Surprised, Elder?"

If there was one thing she learned from her mother and from Sir Rittermark, it was to fall back on politeness when she didn't know what was going on.

"When you didn't respond to the invitation, I thought Rittermark was keeping you busy up at the manor. To be honest, I would've thought you'd be one of the first to jump at the chance -- I know you have to prove your worth before officially joining the knighthood, yes?" At Addie's confused nod, he nodded firmly in return. "Well, then."

"Invitation?" Addie repeated blankly.

Longbeard's thick eyebrows furrowed. "Of course an invitation. What did you think the letter was for?"

"Letter?" she added blankly.

"Yes," he said slowly, staring at her with narrowed eyes. "I sent a letter to both your mother and Sir Rittermark since I wasn't sure where you were staying. It was an invitation to join an expedition venturing outside of the protection of Erehwon to see what's changed since the shield was put in place. More than one head has gotten a worry about what's going on outside of our borders, so I wanted some younger folk to go out and see what they could see and report back." He stared at her when the only response he got was dumbfounded silence. "Neither of them handed off the letter to you, then?"

"I haven't seen my mother in a few weeks, Elder," Addie offered weakly. "Sir Rittermark has had me working."

"I'll bet he has," Longbeard muttered. He cleared his throat and straightened up. "All right, then. Since the lines of communication got muddled somewhere, allow me to formally invite you to join the expedition."

"When does it leave?"

"It left a few days ago, actually, but I imagine you can catch up with them if you're quick about it. Still have that beast of a horse?"

Addie frowned. "Cedric's not a beast, Elder."

"And I have a mine to sell you in Thorbardin," Longbeard said dryly. "You should still speak with Rittermark first, get his approval." He stopped her sputtered objection with a raised hand. "No buts, Trent. If there's one thing I know about knights, it's that they get sore as anything if they think they've been crossed, and Rittermark is more full of himself than most."

Addie scowled. "He already hid your invitation from me once, Elder. How am I supposed to let him let me join?"

"Good point." Longbeard scowled in return. "I'll go with you."

***

Rittermark looked like a man who had been outmatched, and didn't like it one bit.

His dark eyes slid from Longbeard to Addie, his expression sour. "Very well, squire. I give you leave to go. But you will return to continue your duties here when you're finished. Have I made myself clear?"

Addie saluted smartly, feet snapping together. "Yes, Sir."

Rittermark turned back to his papers, waving a hand at her as if shooing away a fly. "You may go."

***

Cedric was nearly prancing as Addie got out the saddle for him, as well as the bit and bridle. It was the work of a moment to get him cinched in, though with how happy he was to get out of his stall, it was taking longer than it needed to.

"Come on, buddy," Addie dodged an overly-affectionate headbutt. "I'm happy to get out of here too, but we have to do this right. Remember the last time I didn't get this on right?"

Cedric pulled back, his large, liquid eyes looking almost betrayed.

It hadn't been Addie's fault that something tender had gotten pinched. That was her story, and she was sticking to it.

"Exactly." Addie grunted with effort before she finished assembling her gear, sliding the backpack on her shoulders, hopping a few times to get it seated properly. Then she was getting into the saddle and leaning over to murmur into Cedric's ear. "We haven't had a chance to go to Farmer Bill's field, so we need to be careful, all right? Take it easy."

Cedric's ear flicked in response, and he started moving in a steady plod. He whinnied once as she led him away from the track that led to her mother's house.

"I know, buddy, but we're heading outside of the village."

Cedric actually stopped walking and looked over his shoulder at her as best he could.

"You heard me. We're supposed to be catching up to-- whoa! hey! I said 'careful', remem-- Slow down! Slooooow-- okayokayokay, we're going faster now, we can do this-- whoa, whoa, whoa! Tree! TREE!"


	3. Session 5: March 17, 2020 [4 Chislmont 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ORIGINAL NOTE: This was written after the game that occurred on 3/17/2020. It will reference events that happened during the game that occurred on 3/10/2020 as well as the 3/17 game. This was written with a somewhat limited understanding of how paralysis works in AD&D 2nd ed., so if there are inconsistencies compared to the rules, I'm happy to go in and edit to correct them.

Addie's eyes blink when rainwater hits them. That's when she realizes she can move again without her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

When she wrestles herself to a sitting position, time slows down.

The dark blood has stopped pouring from Atzca'El's chest.

The rain feels ice cold as it lands on Addie's thawing limbs, running into her armor.

TikTik is sobbing. He sounds like a child Addie vaguely remembers as she and her mother escaped a burning castle.

(Her throat feels raw and used. She didn't have time to scream.)

Before her heartbeat strangled her limbs into uselessness, she remembers the arc of her sword as it flew off into the tall grass.

 _You can't just play with it, Adrianna,_ Edmund admonished her. _It's not a toy. You can hurt someone you don't mean to._

She pets Cedric's flank, her hand freezing and numb inside her gauntlet, and stumbles off to find her sword.

 _Ah, come off it, Eddie,_ Brendan says with laughter that bubbles out of him. _She just needs a bit of training up a bit. You're going to be a brave knight just like your big brother, right, Addie? First rule of being a knight is always know where your sword is!_

Brendan's laughter keeps bubbling in her ears as she looks around. It takes her a minute to realize she's just standing around dumbly, looking left and right and not at the ground, like she ought to.

She tilts her head down, her limbs stiffening now from the rain than from fear ( _a brave knight just like your big brother_ ). It takes her longer than it should to find her sword.

Malachite is more like an earthen shadow than a man next to her.

As long as he's not attacking her, it's fine. She'll be fine.

(No, she won't.)

Her legs feel like tree trunks, heavy and unwieldy. They find a stone archway that looks positively ancient, though Malachite says something about how the grass is growing. There's something strange about the grass, but it doesn't register.

It's odd to see something so dark with life when they just--

_Dirty, pale skin, sunken eyes, hands with blackened claws reaching for Cedric, reaching for her._

_She has to save Cedric, get off her horse._

_Her ankle twists in the stirrup. Her back slams into the ground. Her sword flies in a beautiful, shining arc, and her lungs have seized._

_There is just dirty pale skin, sunken eyes, claws reaching for her._

_The stench of death is seeping into her skin, clinging to her nostrils._

Malachite says something. She breathes in sharply, and the air is filled with grass and rain. Distantly, there is a child sobbing. She meets his eyes.

"Maybe we should head back." Atzca'El and Melinora would know more about this than she does. "Find Melinora. Atzca'El."

Malachite agrees, and they go back.

The child's sobbing is TikTik's again as they return to camp. He's caked in mud, scrabbling at it. His mount, a fine, oversized wolfhound, lays next to him, unmoving.

(What was the dog's name?)

Somewhere in the burble, she hears "Mister RuffRuff".

( _Think hard about what kind of name you want to give your horse, Addie. He'll be your companion for a very long time._ )

( _Yeah, you don't want to pick something stupid!_ )

Mister RuffRuff was a faithful companion. For a moment, the wolfhound's features disappear, leaving behind the glassy eyes of a dead horse.

Her heart seizes, her limbs freeze.

( _Knights aren't scared of heights._

_What are they scared of?_

_Losing their honor_.)

 _(Adrianna, if any of your companions fall in battle, you must do the honorable thing. Bring them to a priest. If the gods will it, your companion will return to you. If not, then give them a proper burial._ )

Atzca'El isn't paying attention to the proceedings. Sirrion must not care about dogs.

Her limbs unlock, and she lurches forward. Her gauntlets are sinking into cold, wet mud before she realizes what's happening.

TikTik must realize he's not alone because he pauses in his digging, and then continues to help as much as his hands can manage.

When the work is done, she picks up Mister RuffRuff's body, and lays it in the grave as carefully as she can.

( _Cedric would be too heavy for this._ )

( _Cedric was frozen-- he could've died--_ )

Cedric snorts from nearby, and he looks like a soldier on campaign, watching the funeral with large, wet eyes that look like they've seen too much already.

She pulls herself out of the grave, stands next to TikTik, and hugs him. He sobs in her eyes, and it's no longer a child's sobbing while a castle burns. It's a young kender who's lost his friend, and kender shouldn't feel this wretched.

She said words. Father would've said words. Edmund definitely would've. Brendan wouldn't have known what to say.

She remembers saying Mister RuffRuff's name. That's good.

There was a "Paladine" in there. That's good too. Paladine is merciful to the righteous fallen.

Now they have to rest and recover what they can in order to save Callie. Before she sleeps, she pets the white stripe on Cedric's nose, and hugs him gently.

***

It was such a stupid idea.

Atzca'El and Melinora had both said that this man worshiped Hiddukel. The god of betrayal, lies.

Of course a priest devoted to him wouldn't have kept his word once given.

A Knight of Solamnia is better than that.

(But she isn't a knight.)

The knife flashed across her throat, and the dark blood spilled out like dark water, like spilled fabric--

( _This is the color of our house, Adrianna. You would do well to remember it._ )

(Much good it did to a trueborn Pennington, who are all colorblind to a fault.)

Callie's body slumps to the ground. Atzca'El runs to her.

The ogre, with dirty, pale skin, dark eyes, and the stench of sour milk, grins at her.

She'd sheathed her sword to show her intentions, but it was a mistake the second she'd done it. She knows it now as the two-handed sword slams down into her left shoulder. Metals screams as the splints part under the blow.

If she's lucky, she can take one more blow like this before she falls unconscious.

( _It's your responsibility to protect your companions, Adrianna. They will be weaker than you. A knight protects the weak._ )

 _Let it be enough_ , she thinks.

She grits her teeth, raises her father's sword, and prepares to strike back.

"Ah ah ah," Aaron's voice rings out. He weaves his fingers in a motion to her, to someone else she can't see.

And then her limbs lock in place.

Her eyes are frozen up at the ogre, who seems to know what's happened faster than she has. Drool is dripping from his chin at the possibilities.

( _It does not matter if you are a knight, Adrianna. You are still a woman first. Let no one take your honor from you._ )

She grits her teeth and tries to fight against the pressure. It feels like manacles have locked around her limbs.

The ogre chuckles, raising the two-handed sword again.

It slams into her right shoulder this time.

Her last sight is of the ogre's broken teeth. Of the sour milk clinging to her nostrils.

Her voice has been robbed from her, so she cannot scream.

***

Callie was a limp doll to be moved and jostled and coaxed, but the lifeless eyes looking past the world around her were the same as Mother's.

In her mother's defense, she hadn't looked so dead inside for years -- only when the topic of her father or brothers came up in conversation would a shade of it return -- but Addie was having a hard time remembering that the girl she was ineffectually soothing hadn't just survived the sacking of her husband's castle.

Addie was just as useless at comforting Callie as she had been at comforting her mother. The twelve years separating the two incidents didn't matter.

Being a knight meant being able to protect the innocent and weak. There were Knights of the Sword who were said to have received powers from Kiri-Jolith to heal those who'd been grievously injured. Addie thinks her father might've been a Knight of the Rose, but she has trouble remembering his face. Just the mustache and clean-shaven cheeks over light and dark eyes like her own.

Addie still tries. Father would've been able to help her. Father would've been able to get Callie to say something, maybe even to laugh at a joke.

(Addie feels her inadequacies and tries not to think about them.)

***

The fact that Regnus didn't see fit to tell her that she was now an exile from the only home she remembers with clarity only adds to the frustration she doesn't realize is building up inside of her.

She tries to tell herself that if she wants to become a Knight of the Crown, she _needed_ to leave. She couldn't have been accepted otherwise. She needs to prove herself worthy of the privilege.

Did Regnus think that she wouldn't have gone if he had told her what it would mean to leave? Erehwon is safe. It doesn't need a protector (no matter what snide remarks Rittermark says about the village's defenses). She didn't need to be tricked into doing the right thing. She's been trying her best since she caught up with the group.

It just hurt that she hadn't been trusted with this information until it was too late.

(In following in her father and older brother's footsteps, she's started walking her own path completely by accident, it seems.)

***

There is little to say about Bramble, given how much Addie had been awed by his shapeshifting back into a person from a fox.

He is a servant of Habbakuk, as is Malachite, so of course, Addie should aid them as best she can. Knights of the Crown hold Habbakuk just as highly as the Solamnic Order holds Paladine. This may be a test for Malachite, but the Fisher King wouldn't force him to do it alone.

Servants of Morgion won't stand a chance, if they have anything to say about it. Considering that they've already defeated a so-called priest of Hiddukel, Addie was cautiously optimistic about their chances.

***

The shock of hearing a Knight of Solamnia being referred to as a "Betrayer Human" felt like Addie had had a bucket of ice-cold water dumped on her head.

(Could that have been why the castle was sacked? No, the ones attacking it were also betrayer humans. They had to be. It was too heavily defended otherwise.)

The more she gently asked about the unfortunate wretch locked in a cage and left to soak in a torrential downpour while cloaked figures and an arrogant man with a mace and a limp were inside the tavern, the more resolute she began to feel.

The Oath that the Knights of the Crown swore was clear: obey all who are included in the List of Loyalty, give aid to any knight, and--

This had to be the will of Paladine. It was too coincidental, otherwise.

A voice in the back of her mind, not unlike the priest of Hiddukel, pointed out that she had no definitive _proof_ that this man was a Knight. Any man could grow a handlebar mustache, and since men of the Knights were known for their distinctive facial hair, it would be easy enough to grow out such a look and keep it was a minimum of effort.

If he is not a knight, Addie thought, he should be saved because he is in trouble.

If he's a criminal who's been outsmarted by another criminal, Addie would... take the matter under advisement. While still saving him. Because if he's a criminal, he should receive justice for the crimes he's committed.

Deep down, what Addie was really thinking was, "Even if I can't return home, I will help Gregor return to his."

After being distracted by the negotiation of selling the enchanted ale barrels (keeping one in reserve for later identification, along with the magical tap), Addie looked up to see that Atzca'el and Melinora were gone already, to speak with Barakas.

Hopefully the man would know more about the "humans to the South" and have some idea of where Gregor was headed, and how much trouble Addie could anticipate along the way.


	4. Session 7: March 31, 2020 [7 Chislmont 350]

_ "We are the House of Trent," Mother said, drawing herself up as though she had been a queen instead of a lord's wife. "We are seafarers. The water is life, our refuge, and our true home." _

_ "I may have been given to the Penningtons as an alliance, but if a knight falls into the ocean, he will sink like a stone." _

_ For the first time since Addie had whined about having to learn a tongue she'd never use, Mother's eyes look sad. "Your father was the only one who seemed to understand." _

_ She was silent for a long moment before she shook her head firmly, her expression growing severe again. " _ **_He_ ** _ understood, which is why your brothers learned how to swim and how to speak the language of  _ **_my_ ** _ people." _

_ She looked down her nose at Addie, who was quaking in her small chair. _

_ "I will not have a daughter refuse to do the same,  _ **_especially_ ** _ if she is to reclaim the Pennington honor. Is that clear?" _

_ Addie ducked her head. "Yes." _

_ "Now, repeat the line again, and tell me what it means." _

_ *** _

Addie felt like an unarmed girl in a battle of wits. She  _ knew  _ that this woman -- Serpe, Malachite had called her -- was lying to her.

But her tongue was getting twisted around in the conversation. She knew the Mariner tongue, but she didn't know how to speak in a way that could convince someone to tell her the truth, to scare them into doing as she said.

Growing up, the Solamnic order was something to be admired, an ideal to strive for.

And now, having left home, it's a band of politicians where "honor" and "mercy" are just words that are blades on the wrong hands.

(Serpe has lied about everything regarding those counterfeit coins. Addie has a nasty feeling she  _ hasn't  _ lied about the knighthood, and that's more depressing than anything else.)

A Knight, having heard about Gregor's being held prisoner by a band of mercenaries, to be taken to a prison to be tortured, would have acted like her traveling companions.

What's in it for them?

Why should they care about this one man?

How do we know that he is being unjustly imprisoned?

It's suicide to go alone. Even if she had only gone to scout out the caravan's defenses, something would have inevitably gone wrong, and then she would've been killed.

But it feels like each minute she stays in town, smiles and makes nice with town leaders who have likely never even heard of her since she joined later on, the more she can feel a scream building in her chest, and clawing its way up her throat.

She will talk to the others when they have a moment alone. The counterfeit coins. The House of Doors thieves guild and their ongoing war with Slad Hilmer, and the only two ways off this island. 

She'll admit her stupidity with Serpe, though it pains her to have her companions think she's a simpleton. She can  _ play _ the trusting, naive knight, but it's different when the people she's traveling with think her stupid.

Still. She's gotten information about the situation on the island. Hopefully that will make up for it.


	5. Session 8: April 7, 2020 [10 Chislmont 350]

Addie had the uncomfortable feeling that Zeleth was a preview of things to come.

Had things been different, she might have still become a knight, under the tutelage of her father and Brendan. Edmund most likely would've been around to look down his nose disapprovingly at her and chide her to sit up straight. (Mother had said that he was a model son. Addie is not a model anything, if her mother's lifelong anger and disapproval and frustration are any indication.)

It's also possible that, with a knight in the family, she might _not_ have become one. Addie has no idea what she would've done instead -- become "Adrianna" and marry well, perhaps.

And marrying well would have meant fielding such offers as ones from Zeleth.

Train my son. Oh, he's only fourteen, but he'll learn. Train my son and marry him and give him sons and teach him how to be a "proper" knight with wealth and power and politics.

Addie isn't sure she would inflict that on a boy living in a town like Boremium. Where a minotaur can buy his way into the seat of power, and use it for his own ends. What would happen to Boremium if Barakas got his wish, and the Otharim gate was able to be used again? Would he simply leave Boremium's citizens to fight over the leadership of the town, or would he come back with an army of minotaurs? Would an island like Nostar even be worth something to an army of minotaurs? They would have to bring their own boats through the gate, considering the situation with the House of Doors and Slad Hilmer.

And given the rate of attrition the gate has on any unwary explorers, the army would be decimated before it made landfall.

Addie shook her head and kept an eye out, staying close to the fire so that she could see in the darkness.

While she would have liked to have helped the villagers, considering their numerous requests, she can't exactly object to the fact that they're not only traveling the wilderness, but they're also getting closer to Hellion.

Thinking of Athlas, who has disappeared yet _again_ after they'd taken the trouble of going after him to save him, fills her with a mixture of anger and relief. The wild elf had the nerve to chide her not to go wandering off on her own after an imprisoned knight, but the moment their backs were turned, not only did he set off in order to help Bramble, but he didn't bother facing them and discussing his concerns.

If Addie had done something similar under her mother's roof, she would've been beaten within an inch of her life and then sent to sleep outside.

Addie wonders if Athlas leaving in the dead of night is a sign from Habbakuk. Her companions had told her it was folly to go alone -- and she _knows_ they're right -- but for one of them to leave on his own to help Bramble? Addie isn't stupid enough to think she should do the same for Gregor, but now that they're heading for this part of the island anyway, perhaps she can try persuading them again? She can feel herself growing little by little, her experiences giving her more strength of will. She's never gone so long wearing her armor while at home, or kept her sword in hand for so long. Cedric is as careful and eager as she is, leaving Addie to feel bad that she didn't visit him more often in the stables while they were still in town.

Before she goes to wake up the next watch, she closes her eyes.

"Fisher King, thank you for giving us the strength to face the watery serpent. We will assist your servant, Bramble, as best we can. By your will, I will do my best to find and rescue Gregor. May the waters of your realm remain clean and pure."

"Great Dragonlord, thank you for shining your light so that I might be able to help those within my reach, and possibly offer hope to those who aren't. May your strength never falter."

"Sword of Justice, I realize that I have been extremely remiss in my prayers to you. For that, I deeply apologize. Please allow me to continue to be the shield that protects my allies from enemy blows."

Addie hesitates for a moment before adding sheepishly, "If you could also help me to actually _hit_ my enemies, I would be extremely appreciative."

Addie clears her throat and makes sure that no one else is awake to have heard that. When she sees no one else is, she puts her hands together in prayer again.

"By the Fisher King, the Sword of Justice, and the Great Dragonlord, my sword and heart are yours. Amen."


	6. Session 10: April 21, 2020 [16 Chislmont 350]

Addie headed over to the grove of Mishakal, knelt, and closed her eyes.

"Lady Lightbringer, I know that I have not devoted myself to your service, but I hope that you would be willing to hear me."

"I am so pleased and relieved that your presence was here on this island before the Cataclysm was so deeply ingrained. I'm also relieved that you were able to reach your servant, General Drek, forty-second of his name, that he might be willing to heed your wisdom. I am honored to have met Sacerdotum Eden, to have her be a shining example of your grace and generosity."

Addie paused a moment to sniff and wipe her eyes before bowing her head again.

"I am in service to your son, the Fisher King, and will further devote myself to your son, Kiri-Jolith, and your husband, Paladine. I am prepared for warfare and violence, for using my strength to protect the weak and innocent from those that would harm them."

"To see your influence here, so close to my home, is something that I had not expected, but I feel comforted and safe among the people who follow in your light."

"That being said, I will do all that I can in order to ensure that your light will prevail. General Drek, forty-second of his name, was willing to step away from the dark path because of your teachings. I only hope that I can offer what assistance I can that your presence will be strengthened on the island of Nostar, and that I will be able to assist in weakening the god of pestilence's influence here, if not eradicating it altogether."

"Thank you for providing a welcome respite in our journey. May your servants continue to be examples of your grace and light, and may I prove a help to them in their time of need."

Addie got to her feet and headed for the barracks. It took longer for her to remove her armor than usual, her chest tightening as her breathing grew harsh. But when she was ready for bed, she knelt down, closed her eyes, and prayed silently.

"Habbakuk, please allow me the opportunity to best help the servants of your mother, Mishakal, so that her influence and warmth may grow. I swear to protect her servant to the best of my ability while also protecting my companions. Please grant me the strength and courage to obey your will to the utmost of my ability."

"Kiri-Jolith, please allow me the chance to actually hit my enemies. I was concerned that I would have to raise my sword in defense of my friends against these hobgoblins, but they are servants of the light, and I wish to raise my sword in their defense as well. If I cannot hit my enemies, then let me be the shield that protects them from darkness that would injure them and weaken their resolve."

"Paladine, please allow me the chance to follow your example and be righteous and bring peace and justice to those within my reach. As Lady Mishakal is your bride, bringing light to the darkness and comfort to those who have suffered, I swear to protect her servant in honor of your bonds of matrimony. I know I am not her servant, but I wish to pay my respects to her. Please allow me the wisdom to offer guidance to General Drek, forty-second of his name, and please allow me to protect and defend Sacerdotum Eden to the best of my ability."

"By the Fisher King, the Sword, and the Dragonlord, my heart and sword are yours to command. Amen."


	7. Session 12: May 5, 2020 [17 Chislmont 350]

Addie stared down at the giant's body, her eyes riveted on the dark grey spilling out of him.

(She could feel the bite of her gauntlet into her palm, the reassuring weight of the lance under her fingers.)

Her legs trembled with exertion, the effects of the potion wearing off. Her heartbeat was loud in her ears, as if it was reverberating all around the inside of her helmet.

(She felt the wind against her face, the moment when she stood in the stirrups, the jarring impact as the lance sunk into giant flesh.)

Her eyes drifted to the massive hole in the giant's side, still pumping out blood, but slower now.

(Habbakuk, I should have prayed to you first. You whose dominion is over the land and animals of nature. I didn't think it was possible to fly without wings, but you have shown me how.)

The potion finally worn off, she sat in her saddle, the tip of her lance dipping as she tired.

(Was that a taste of my future? Is that what it feels like to be stronger than I am now? ... has a portion of it stayed with me? Like blown glass in a swirl will collect dust in its bends and folds? Did the potion that Melinora gave to me leave a little of its strength behind?)

Her heartbeat receded. The roar of the giant, loud and continuous and filled with rage, made her look up.

She felt battered and beaten. She felt like she was on her last legs.

But Kiri-Jolith had guided her lance. Paladine had given her the chance to be brave. Habbakuk had shown her that she and Cedric could fly.

Shaking with exertion, she looked to the tree line and braced herself to meet the next giant.

***

Addie watched the rain patter against the palm of her gauntlet. "--This is more like bracing for impact."

There it was. The Gnaw again.

It had struck the night before, making her feel like worms were inside of her, eating away at her guts. She had thought that maybe the disease wouldn't strike in the morning as well, but she was so agonizingly wrong.

Nine minutes -- nine eternities -- later, the pain subsided, leaving her shaking and tired. When she coughed, she tasted blood in her mouth.

Cedric looked at her with dark, worried eyes.

"It's okay, buddy. Shhh. I'm fine. We just need to get going. I promise." She clambered into the saddle, and when it felt like a wayward worm was taking a nibble at her guts, she gave it a solid punch.

If it was going to take its pound of flesh from her, she was going to make sure it paid for it.


	8. Session 13: May 12, 2020 [18 Chislmont 350]

At this point, Addie really doesn't have an excuse for not praying to the three deities of the Solamnic Order for fortitude against the Gnaw. She really doesn't.

No matter how much she's mentally prepared herself for the disease to drain away her physical stamina, she's still surprised when it strikes.

One moment, she's giving Cedric the large berry that TikTik has slipped into his feed bag and petting his nose, and the next, the darkness of the night has swum in front of her eyes. Pain embraces her like she imagines a jealous lover would.

The worms are writhing in her gut again. Distantly, she feels a pain in her knees as her full weight lands on them. When she lands on her back, the parasites writhe and _spread_ upwards. Breathing becomes an impossible luxury, and what little air she manages is drenched in coppery liquid she vaguely remembers is blood.

Hands grab at her armor, and the world tilts until she's on her side. What she's gasped and spat out drips down from the corner of her mouth across her cheek to the earth.

The darkness envelopes her in pain that threatens to split her from ribs to groin, and she knows nothing more.

When her eyes open, a face with pale luminescent skin hovers over her.

 _It's so bright,_ she thinks.

"Lightbringer...?"

There's a pause, and then a gentle, "No. It is Sacerdotem Eden."

There is more that she says, but the dull grey returns to wrap her in a sick miasma, and she can't hear anything else but her own heartbeat in her ears, reminding her she's alive.

***

For once -- for _once_ \-- Addie is ready for when the Gnaw hits.

Being ready for it, and maintaining dignity in the face of it are, sadly, two different things.

Addie is, again, petting Cedric's nose and making sure he's all right when her stomach gives a sharp _twist_ , and she's down on one knee. She had almost grabbed Cedric's reins to try to stay upright, but she swung her arms wide, made sure she couldn't catch them with her hands, and took a knee.

At the edges of her vision, darkness in sharp contrast to the bright morning sun around them threatened to creep in, but she gritted her teeth.

 _I do not bow to you, godling of pestilence,_ she thought angrily. _I'm only taking a knee so that when I stand up, I will hold my sword at your throat. The Lightbringer already won your followers away from you. We're going to weaken you further, and then you'll have no foothold here._

Addie will admit it -- anger and spite kept her from collapsing to the ground. Finally, when the writhing and twisting had passed, she accepted a dose of painkiller from Atzca'el, swallowing mechanically.

 _One more sigil, and we will be at your doorstep, godling,_ she thought angrily, keeping her hands on Cedric gentle. _If you will not leave the temple of the Lightbringer, we will flush you out like the insect you are._


	9. Session 14: May 19, 2020 [19 Chislmont 350]

Addie feels like an idiot.

She usually feels like an idiot, so it's not _new_ , but this is the first time that her being an idiot couldn't be fixed by her just hitting something.

If she were a better person, she would've been there to see what happened with Bramble instead of just finding out the next morning that Melinora was able to cast a spell so that Atzca'el could use a scroll in order to fix him. Considering that the whole point of them haring off into the wilderness is because Athlas was worried about him.

If she were a better person, she would've actually talked to the hobgoblins who were sick (dying) around the shrine to Mishakal. Instead, she stood there like an idiot, using her broadsword to angle the light of Solinari to shine on all of them. Because bright light is going to comfort them while they're in the process of facing the great unknown. Sure.

If she were a better person, she would've been able to just _fix_ this damn thing in the first place.

She doesn't remember a lot about Arcturus Pennington, but she does remember a man who'd been brought to the castle's chapel. He'd looked more like a bundle of twigs and bone than an actual person, but somehow, by the grace of Paladine, the man was still breathing, reedy and thin.

Addie remembers her father putting his hands together in front of him, bowing his head, and asking Paladine to help him to help this man. His hands glowed with a pale light, and when he pressed them to the man's chest, the man's mangled body had knit itself back together before their eyes. His eyes, dark and startled, had snapped open as he gasped, his chest expanding as his ribs unshattered themselves.

Her father had been a Knight of the Rose. And if he could bring a man back from the brink of death, something like the Gnaw would've been easy for him.

Addie isn't her father. The Order of the Rose feels like a distant dream at this point when she can hear the reedy, bile-choked gasps for air from people who are no longer breathing.

Addie needs to stop being an idiot. She needs to be a better person. And she needs to stop this disease before it kills someone else.

***

Somehow, for some bizarre reason, the lance had survived the flight from Castle Pennington.

First, it was something that Addie was never allowed to touch, because she would break it, and it would be a disgraceful end to such a fine weapon if a Pennington were to break it.

When Sir Rittermark had begun her equestrian training with Cedric, she was allowed to remove it from the hooks keeping it on the wall. She had been surprised by how easily she could lift it, but she hadn't been aware of just how much muscle she'd put on at that point. It pierced watermelons and hay bales well enough, but it hadn't been anything special.

And then the hill giant outside of Pistoria's library.

"Stealth is our best option" was the general consensus of the group. Considering how fragile Melinora seemed, even without suffering from the Gnaw, Addie was not going to be able to divert all of the attention to herself _and_ be able to help the group inside of Mishakal's temple.

No, the lance was going to be useless sitting in its holster on Cedric's saddle.

General Drek, though... If he was going to charge into the front lines, stabbing as many of the bastards as he could to give them time to get inside the temple's lower level... he might have a better chance at surviving the onslaught...

It's a simple offer, really. Addie wants it back because it was her father's, but if it doesn't survive the fight while being used in the service of Good, then... it's okay.

Maybe, just a little bit, Addie feels like she's being a better person.


	10. Sessions 15 & 16: May 26/June 2, 2020 [20 Chislmont 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original note says, "This is a super-long one that covers both 5/26 and 6/2. If the formatting is horrible, I apologize in advance."
> 
> Needless to say, the sessions were basically a bunch of boss battles. It was a hell of a thing.

Addie stared as though General Drek had spoken in another language entirely.

When his eyes met hers, she blinked.

***

_"Oh, so you presume to tell me how I might conduct my army, girl?" Sir Rittermark asked with deceptive mildness._

_"It was just a suggestion--"_

_The smack caught her across the mouth. When she righted herself, she could taste blood._

_"The first rule of being a soldier is that you never speak back to your superiors," Rittermark snapped. "Do you understand me?"_

_"Yes, sir," Addie answered quickly._

_His eyes narrowed at her for a long moment. When he sensed no insubordination from her, he nodded tersely. "Very well."_

***

General Drek looked at all of them, his dark eyes taking them in.

"He just wants to help," she thought.

But a knight should never issue orders to their superiors.

But if General Drek was issuing an order for assistance with the battle strategy, then disobeying an order from a superior is inexcusable. In this case, General Drek is her superior because he is fighting against Evil, and he is in command of a fighting force.

A commander should be an inspiration to their troops, which General Drek has done.

Moreover, a knight must support their superiors in word and deed.

Addie eyed the snow as the others discussed using magic.

The hobgoblins were smaller than the ogres and giants. They could use the snow to get close and surprise them.

"How do your men fight, General?" Addie asked, eyeing one hobgoblin's sword and shield and kicking herself that she didn't familiarize herself with their training when they were first brought to Pistoria's Armory.

The explanation didn't lend itself to stealth and surprise attacks.

A quick decision later, the companions circled around the temple, facing the fallen column and open wall, dusted with white as the snow continued to fall.

*********

Atzca'el spurred Zatul across the snow, as fast as the large horse's hooves could carry them.

The giant made out of bones exploding out of the ground in front of them had been startling.

But the inhuman roars of triumph to her right were bone-chilling.

Addie looked to her right ( _stupid idiot girl always look in front of you_ ) just in time to see giants and ogres erupting from the snow-covered mounds.

_No--_

***

_"Are you only useful on your back, idiot girl?" Rittermark sneered._

_Addie ducked her head, her face on fire as she stared at the map in front of her without seeing it._

_"These aren't mindless beasts you're facing on the field of battle." He moved a wooden toy fashioned into a troop of mounted cavalry, a small tatter of red ribbon tied around a lance. Then he snapped up the toy representing her soldiers on foot. "They're thinking beings who want to win. And now you have no army to defend your capital. So what do you say to that?"_

_"I'm sorry," Addie mumbled._

_"Apologies won't bring back all of the civilians who died because of your incompetence, girl. They're certainly not going to stop the forces of Evil from doing whatever they wish on lands you were sworn to protect." Rittermark glared at her for a long moment that stretched out into a gut-twisting eternity. "Get out of my sight. Go let your mother sop up your tears, and return to me in the morning."_

_"Yes, sir."_

***

Her hands on Cedric's reins clenched. Her right arm tightened, ready to change course, to urge Cedric at the giants that the legionnaires were running towards.

The thunder of hooves behind her made her throw a look over her shoulder, at the companions behind her. They were able to move as quickly as they could because of the path Zatul was clearing. The path she should be helping to clear.

Addie whipped back around to stare up at the giant, to watch as Zatul reared up and slammed into the creature, bones crunching under the massive steed's weight. If the creature could've screamed, it would have as it tumbled in sections, crashing to the ground with an teeth-rattling boom.

A bolt of magical energy whizzed past, slamming into the creature as Addie forced herself closer to Cedric's body. Of course, her brain was desperately trying to think of the command for 'trample', and the best she came up with was "Up and snap!"

Cedric snorted in confusion -- _But The Bad Thing Is Already Down?_ \-- but as he closed the distance, he reared up with a loud whinny and slammed his hooves down.

*********

All things considered, when Addie thinks about what happened in the temple, she focuses on the wrong things.

To be fair, she's distracted enough to tell Cedric to follow the leader, trusting the mounted contingent to head safely to Drektown.

But, really.

The first hag was horrible, with fangs and claws. And Addie's gotten so used to darkness overtaking her that it's almost like an old friend at this point. Bearhugging an enemy was new, and something she'll have to remember for the future.

But her mind's eye fixates on the ogre that had been magically put to sleep, collapsed on the floor of the temple.

Atzca'el's scaly hand rises up in the dim light streaming through the break in the wall.

The claws shine brighter in her memory than they likely do in reality.

And then the muscles bunch in Atzca'el's arm as he brings it down.

Blood flies from the wound, landing on the mockery of the Lightbringer's symbol.

And the ogre grows unnaturally still as Atzca'el returns to them, as calm as a butcher putting down an animal whose meat cannot be used.

***

_"We can't take in all the strays of the world," her mother says in a moment when her voice isn't filled with sharp disapproval. "And if they will grow to hurt others just to survive, then it's best we be rid of them now."_

***

_"A knight isn't a cutthroat, girl." Rittermark smacks her on the back of the head. At this point, it has the same force as a companionable pat on the shoulder. "Let some churl without honor do the dirty work. You have bested them in battle. If the gods will that they should live, then you wouldn't have been able to beat them in the first place."_

_"But what if their gods are stronger than--" Luckily, at fifteen years old, Addie has enough wherewithal not to finish the thought out loud._

_Rittermark glares at her, and then nods firmly. For a moment, the man seems pleased with her discretion._

*********

The second hag is just as horrible, even if it's a different shade than the one before. It's just fast, brutally strong, and the claws are even worse. As its face melts under repeated flames, revealing bulbous, jaundiced eyes, all Addie can fixate on is Malachite's body.

One moment, he was slashing away at the hag, and then he's gone, flying in a spray of blood before slamming into the wall with a sickening thud.

The dark streak of blood drips down the wall, stark against the marble of the temple.

Addie turns to the hag, swings wildly in her anger and panic, and knows nothing more again.

***

_Rittermark smirked. "Remember the Measure, girl. Throwing a tantrum won't make the rank and file follow you. They'll just laugh at you behind your back." His grin was sharp as he dug the heel of his metal boot into her shoulder and twisted._

_Addie cried out as the pain doubled._

_"Get up and get your sword, or run home to hide behind your mother's skirts."_

***

_"Who was your father?" Mother asked briskly as she wiped with surprising gentleness at her daughter's cut cheek._

_"Arcturus Pennington, Knight of the Rose, Keeper of the Lands of Pen-Llarcau, and Protector of the Relic That Shall Not Be Named."_

_"What would he say about your conduct today?"_

_Addie wanted to shrink into herself. "He would remind me of the Measure. It says that a leader never shouts, never loses their calm demeanor, never wavers or doubts, and never shows fear."_

_Mother took a firm hold of her shoulder and gave it a painful squeeze until Addie straightened her back. "And who was your eldest brother?"_

_Addie winces as the cloth accidentally presses into the edge of her black eye. "Edmund Pennington, Wizard of the White Robes."_

_"What would he say?"_

_"As the heir to Castle Pennington, he would remind me that my behavior, good or ill, reflects on him."_

_"And your second brother?"_

_"Brendan Pennington, Knight of the Crown."_

_"And what would he say?"_

_"He would remind me of the Measure. It says to forgive those who wrong you."_

_For long minutes, Addie stood still as her mother cleaned her wounds and bandaged them._

_"I think that's enough said about that, don't you?" Mother said firmly. A corner of the cloth, free of blood, wiped away at Addie's tears with a single pass._

_"Yes, Mother."_

*********

Addie's eyes open to find Sacerdotem Eden kneeling over her.

"We have to stop meeting like this," she manages.

It takes her a minute to realize that the priestess of Mishakal is healing her.

"No, wait--" Addie objects, looking over at Malachite's crumpled form. "Malachite--"

Eden hushes her gently.

*********

The front doors of the Silver Circle stand open, revealing the sharp contrast of light and dark. Snow still covers the ground, but dark swathes are flung across it, just as the bodies are.

General Drek is still, the plume of his helmet blowing in the bitter wind.

Addie's vision blurs, and as Eden tells Skammous and Atzca'el to join hands with her, and Addie as well, Addie puts herself between the charging giants, the roaring ogres, turns her back on them, and reaches out her hands.

*********

"...Addie the Human."

Sacerdotem Eden stares at her.

Addie stares back. And then realizes she's supposed to say something. To pray to Habbakuk, Kiri-Jolith. Paladine.

Instead, all she can see is the unnaturally still form of Malachite in front of her, General Drek in her mind's eye.

She needs to be better. To do better. And she can only ask that the three gods who heard her once, who imbued her father's lance with their power, help her again.

"Help," she pleads finally.

A moment later, her spine explodes into fire, and her vision is spotted with darkness, but she sways and keeps her feet.

Then her arm is nearly yanked out of its socket as Atzca'el collapses to the floor next to her.

She barely notices TikTik taking her hand, asking Uncle Trapspringer to help them.

And then the world explodes into pale light that is too painful to witness.

Her body is invigorated. Somewhere, she hears unsteady rasps for air.

And the fight is won.

*********

General Drek talks about resting, recovering from the ordeal of curing the Gnaw, of the battle on the temple grounds.

But Addie isn't a better person yet. She's just a girl, riding on her horse, thinking of a man she's never met, who's likely suffering.

If he hasn't already died yet.

She needs to find Gregor. She needs to be better.

If she were a better person, she would point Cedric towards Hellion, figure out a way to find the man, possibly free him.

But she is tired, and she can't stop watching Atzca'el's arm come down and the spray of blood answer him. She keeps seeing Malachite, more of a follower of Habbakuk than she is, slamming into the wall and skidding to the floor in a heap.

She keeps seeing the wind blow through the plume on General Drek's helmet and thinking, If I had been better at planning, he wouldn't be dead.

But that thought is too long for her to focus on.

It's simply easier to say, "It's all my fault."


	11. Session 17: June 16, 2020 [20 Chislmont 350]

There are a lot of things competing for Addie's thoughts, recently. She's aware of this. This lack of focus might be something that will get her killed sooner or later.

For right now, she's going to stare at four ships, one larger than the others, and think of her father, her brothers, and herself.

It doesn't make sense, of course. The Penningtons aren't a seafaring family. Addie wonders if her father has ever spent a day on a ship in his life.

(She imagines that he went on one in order to show the Trents, and more especially her mother, what a brave, strong man he was.)

(Addie also imagines him going green in the face and feeding the fishes over the side of the ship, but a moment later, she tells herself it's an unkind thought, and there are three gods who probably wouldn't be amused by it.)

(Still, for a moment, the myth of her father becomes a little more human.)

In the combined light of Solinari and Lunitari, casting a pale glow across the lake and the port, the four ships still exist. One of them is still noticeably larger than the other three.

And then she finds herself wondering... why such massive galleons? They would be able to navigate the rivers just fine, but are they merchant vessels from another city? Warships that were blown off-course to Nostar somehow?

The answer, when it comes, makes sense judging by pure logistics. General Drek and the hobgoblins loyal to him would need large ships, especially if they were carrying supplies with them in order to relocate entirely to another continent.

It doesn't stop Addie's stomach from giving a sickening twist.

Militarily? Socially? Drek's plan is suicide.

Drek has no idea what kind of reception he's going to receive when he makes for Daltigoth. It could be just as ruined as Pistoria is. He's sailing into the great unknown, and it feels like a military commander with enough experience to command at least fifty legionnaires wouldn't be so foolhardy and brash as this.

Not only that, but the legionnaires just reclaimed the Silver Circle. It's a viable temple to Mishakal again. Leaving it with only forty legionnaires to defend it feels like he's setting up Sacerdotem Eden and her guards as sacrificial lambs. Hobgoblins are militaristic, and judging from the way that their change of leadership works, might really does make right (as distasteful as the idea may be), and if Drek is removed -- even if he shows signs of weakness -- that means that he himself and anything that he's shown that he cares about is in danger. It doesn't matter how many allies of Orgod's they can find and eliminate.

(Addie's worried that they're going to be exterminators for all of the worshippers of the Black Wind. While she's not opposed to it, it comes down to logistics again. Sooner or later, either she and her companions are going to run out of energy to protect themselves and continue fighting, or the entirety of Drektown will be killed.)

This is the time that a general would capitalize on his victories, would win more converts because of his show of might. The battle for the Silver Circle was bloody and hard-fought, but they _won_ because Mishakal heard them -- because Habbakuk, and Kiri-Jolith, and Paladine, and Reorx, and even Uncle Trapspringer (who Addie is fairly sure isn't a god) leant them their power to revive their dead and heal their wounded.

If nothing else, Sirrion is sure to win more converts, if Mishakal's teachings of redemption are considered too "weak" to hobgoblins who've lived under a harsher master.

Drek is being logical in thinking that he won't be able to convert all of the hobgoblins to his side overnight. It would take the kind of silver tongue that a god would possess to do that, I think. But the trouble that Addie's having is that Drek was converted. Eden was converted. For whatever reasons they might have, his legionnaires converted and serve him willingly. Primus Pilus Osark might not have converted, but Drek still spoke highly of his honor.

Addie is worried that more hobgoblins who might have considered converting over time will be lost if they don't make a snap decision that will decide the course of their lives.

Being faced with a ship and being told to climb aboard or be left behind...

Addie doesn't doubt that she and her mother survived by climbing on that ship thirteen years ago, sailing forever until they somehow happened upon Erehwon. But she cried and ran away from her mother because her father and brothers weren't with them, according to Mother. Even back then, that decision had felt too large to face.

Addie can only hope that anyone who wants to convert after Drek leaves will seek refuge at the Silver Circle. And that it won't fall the moment their backs are turned.

(She dreamt of a faceless man with a handlebar mustache the night before. Whether it was the man she'd thought of as Cedric, or Gregor, Addie doesn't know. But Addie wants to see him, at least once. And help him if she can.)


	12. Session 18: June 23, 2020 [22 Chislmont 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original note reads, "Addie has Precise Memory, but Bianca doesn't. If there's any dialogue that I got wrong, please let me know so that I can correct it."
> 
> Precise Memory is an advantage that you could purchase with character points? I had never seen that system when I was a kid, but I was allowed to use it, so yay.

The second that she hears "Gregor", a number of things happen.

First, Addie's attention sharpens.

Second, her guilt returns.

Third, she loses sight of what she's there to do.

Jack and Cravel are typical men -- one of them wants to get into her pants, neither are forthcoming with information.

Something that she calls "good sense" (let's not beat around the bush, it's flat-out revulsion) keeps her from accepting the offer of sleeping with Cravel. Men who think that women are stupid talk, if the women around Erehwon are to be believed.

Addie mentally pats herself on the back for the lie about taking things from corpses to cover for the family insignia on her backpack, but knows that it's best to let the water flow around her rather than fight the current when they have the nerve to dismiss her for their very important meeting that's taking place in the middle of a rowdy tavern.

If this is the kind of subtlety she can expect from the men of Slad's Corners, she thinks that they might not be as much of a threat as she initially thought.

***

The man with the mustache catches her eye. He looks tired enough that Addie wants to yawn herself, but he keeps himself upright. The tips of his handlebar mustache just brush past his chin.

Addie sees him and looks away quickly.

If he's a knight, she can't out him. If he isn't a knight, then she'll know that her eyes were playing tricks on her.

She orders pork and roasted apples. The meat is nearly rancid.

***

She has to talk to him. If nothing else, she needs to know for her own peace of mind who he is. He could be a wayward soul, looking for somewhere to exist. (He could be a knight trying to get home.)

If the handlebar mustache is a new fashion somewhere, at least she'll learn that much.

(Stupid girl, are you really that naive? Do you honestly think he'll just tell you whatever it is you want to hear? If only your brother had survived--)

Addie motions the barkeep over. "Do you have any rooms for the night?"

***

"Those two guys are gonna murder someone."

After nearly a month of traveling together, Addie knows TikTik's voice.

Addie doesn't see the bar in that moment. Her gaze is elsewhere. She sees the man in her memory. The blade erupting from his chest. His body slumping to the ground, the blood pooling around him. (She must be imagining that last part. Mother had dragged her away in that instant, and then her memory gets fuzzy.)

Jack and Cravel are more than willing to take things from corpses, living or dead. She wouldn't put it past them to murder someone.

Her body moves. She gets up. Her feet follow them up the stairs. Oh, no, master guardsman, I was only there because I was just looking for my room for the night. See? I have a room key. The bartender gave it to me.

She doesn't hesitate to follow them. Her heart is beating in her ears. The men are two shadows against greater shadow. One is at the lock, working at it. The other is just standing around, watching him.

"The Fisher King, the Sword of Justice, the Great Dragon." The words are barely a whisper. "Guide my blade."

(They've never answered her before. Not with her broadsword. It was her father's lance that received their blessing. It was her idiotic plea for help at the Silver Circle, gibbering and pathetic, like a child crying for her father because the giants and ogres were big and scary.)

Addie walks up to them, and swings.

She feels the thud of blade meeting flesh. She feels the flesh give away. There was so much power in the swing, panicked and angry, that the bone is barely an interruption.

It's when the man's head leaves his neck that she realizes what's happened--

No. These men were here for murder.

She rounds on the other one, sees Jack's wide eyes staring up at her from where he's been working at the lock.

Addie presses the tip of her broadsword inches away from the base of his throat. (Step left, brace right, lunge, the sword will--)

She says something. In the haze of adrenaline, she can't remember what.

It would be so easy.

(Step left, brace right, lunge--)

Skammous's mace seems to fly out of the light behind her. The mace connects with the man's head, and Jack slumps to the ground unconscious.

"You dishonor your knighthood and your heritage!" he snaps.

No. She's right. She _knows_ she's right.

"You're going to get on your knees and atone for what you've done! This is not behavior befitting a knight!"

She _has_ to be right. "I know, and I will. But they were going to murder--"

The words are fast and scolding before Skammous grabs Jack's limp form and disappears down the hallway. Moments later, Addie hears a thunk-thunk-thunk as Skammous drags the unconscious man down the stairs.

Addie turns away, and sees Cravel's headless body. The arterial spray has finally stopped, slowing to a trickle. The dark pool around him is thick.

When Rittermark scolded her, she wasn't smart enough, strong enough, good enough.

Mother scolded her because she was just Addie, and not Edmund or Brendan. She was the child Mother was stuck with, instead of the child Mother wanted to survive.

Skammous...

Addie swallows hard. A man is dead because of her.

(She's right. She has to be right.)

She didn't call out.

(They were going to murder a man.)

She didn't give them the chance to defend their actions or themselves.

(They were standing outside a man's door. Jack was trying to unlock the door.)

She just marched up to them like she was allowed to.

(If they had honest intentions, why didn't they knock? Why didn't they talk through the door?)

She drew her sword and swung.

(She's never been able to hit any monster before, not when it counted. Aaron's pet ogre leering at her while Callie was bleeding, dying. Malachite's body smashing into the wall and sliding down in a dark smear.)

It was a fatal strike the second it connected. There was no attempt to make sure Cravel lived.

(For once in her life, she just wants to be right.)

Addie turns from the body, not noticing that invisible hands are rifling through its pockets and clothes.

She stares at the door, and knocks three times, softly.

"What do you want?"

Addie breathes in slowly. When she breathes out, she murmurs in Solamnic, "Can you understand me?"

A pause. And then Solamnic. "Yes." The door opens.

The man with the handlebar mustache isn't wearing his heavy cloak. He looks as tired as Addie's soul feels.

His gaze lowers to the floor, and he grabs the front of Addie's armor, dragging her inside. He splutters, and Addie loses the words for a moment (stupid girl, remember everything you hear).

The item on the table, ten inches across and polished crystal or glass, is quite beautiful and looks extremely magical. The pale cloud coalescing inside only confirms the feeling of hair rising on the back of Addie's neck.

It's covered up quickly before the man turns to her. His dark eyes are focused on her.

For a moment, Addie sees the man in her memory again. The handlebar mustache. The blade erupting from his chest.

"Who are you?"

The question brings her up short. Her heart hammers in her chest, and the weight of what happened in the hallway just minutes ago crashes down on her.

(Let some churl without honor do the dirty work.)

(oh _gods_ )

"I..." Addie begins.

And then she realizes -- she doesn't know if he's a knight. All she knows is that he knows Solamnic. Anyone can learn a language. Any man can grow a mustache.

She has nothing.

She stares into his eyes.

(We do not lie in this house, Adrianna. Your father would be ashamed of you.)

(You tell no one the name of Pennington. No one, Adrianna, do you understand me? Do you?)

And panicks.


	13. Session 19: June 30, 2020 [22 Chislmont 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original note reads, "Probably a little more disjointed than usual, but there was a lot in this session! That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it."
> 
> This is smaller snapshots of the session, I think, in order to get a sense of Addie's frame of mind as things are happening instead of just one scene with a bunch of flashbacks.

Addie had no idea what kind of man she was expecting "Gregor" to be, but Gregor Uth Matar is definitely not that man.

There are too many shades of John Rittermark in his manner for Addie to feel entirely comfortable around him. But when Addie snapped at him in her worry and irritation, he'd snapped right back at her.

He hadn't needed to show her the writ of passage he carried to prove who he was, but he did.

("He was suspiciously forthcoming with that writ." The voice sounds like Melinora's, like Atzca'el's, like Skammous's.)

He'd recognized the Pennington heraldry on her armor. Which she hadn't removed from her left pauldron. And she should have.

But he didn't try to kill her, like Mother had warned her would happen if she were found out.

The Uth Matar family are honorable, and also from before the Cataclysm. From what Addie remembers of her lessons, they're from Palanthus (or the area around it), but not especially noteworthy in terms of great deeds. If they've had a Rose Knight in their family tree, it's been far enough back that Addie doesn't remember being quizzed about it during her morning training.

Gregor told her that her father was still alive. In exile because of something to do with the Crownguard family, but alive. Somewhere in the world, Arcturus Pennington is alive.

(She feels angry, hurt, and very alone. It's another point against her that the very first thing she didn't feel was relief born out of love.)

"It's been a long time since I've had a squire," Gregor had blithely said while Addie tried to figure out how to roll a body into bedsheets without making more of a mess than she was already making.

Just like that. He'd just... accepted her.

She was a squire. He was a Sword Knight.

More importantly, she had somehow become his squire in the space of a hurried conversation while covering up a murder.

(John Rittermark's dark eyes took her measure in less than a moment before returning to her mother. "This is what you bring me to work with, my Lady?")

There's still that dig about holding onto her broadsword because she can't be trusted to get drinks for the group without more bloodshed.

But can Addie really say that Sir Uth Matar is wrong?

***

TikTik casually mentions the fact that one of Orgod's allies is Acolythus Juda'Ak, who likely worships an Evil god.

The moment that Addie hears that, she feels a white-hot rage overtake her.

When she had swung on Cravel, she was terrified. She needed that knight. She needed his help. A man was suffering in a horrible prison, and these two men were standing between her and trying to save that man.

(The gods aren't interested in your petty excuses.)

She hears that Juda'Ak is in league with Orgod and these people, and she wants him dead.

( _Please, continue to display your inability to follow the most basic tenets of the knighthood,_ she can just imagine Rittermark snapping at her. _Feel free to take your father's name and just piss all over it. Here, I think you missed a spot._ )

She plants her feet on the floor, and locks her knees to make sure she can't move.

It doesn't help that there are at least a hundred dragon-like men (draconians?) underneath of Drektown, poised to attack. The Dragon Highlord Fielthas seems to be in charge of them, judging by his title. And he's also an archmage who is showing an interest in Lady Brightgleam.

***

Sir Uth Matar and General Drek meet. Addie brings up getting him passage onto the ship.

The moment that Sir Uth Matar tells Drek that Daltigoth had fallen long ago to ogres and Evil creatures, Addie bites her lip and feels for the hobgoblin. He'd put so much hope into sailing there and reuniting with the rest of the Ancient Ergothians that Addie can't help but feel like a little piece of her is hurting too.

***

She closes the door behind her, faces her bed, and goes to her knees.

All of what she's learned in the last few hours: Gregor, her father, the extent of Orgod's allies and the veritable army under Drektown, Juda'Ak, Cravel-- All of it crashes into her like wave.

And then she bursts into tears.

Addie tries to stop herself (You dishonor yourself and your knighthood!), but it just makes her cry harder.

(The gods don't want something as asinine as your tears. You're supposed to be atoning for what you've done. Act like it.)

She slaps herself, trying to stop crying, but it only works a little bit. When she gets on her knees next to her bed and closes her eyes, she feels like she can concentrate.

She forces herself to remember everything.

What Cravel looked like: how pale or dark his eyes were, the clothes he wore, his leer when he offered to share his bed with her for the night.

Cravel standing in the hallway, the way he watched Jack as he picked the lock.

The sensation of the sword slicing into his unprotected neck, the give of flesh, the spray of blood.

(A sword is a weapon, even in hands as incompetent as yours. If you're going to pull your blade, you had better be certain that the person on the other end of it is someone you want to kill.)

The blood on her hands as she wrapped the body in bloodstained sheets.

Lady Brightgleam right next to her, using her cantrip with ruthless efficiency as Addie hacked again and again into the corpse's-- Cravel's still form. The limbs parting, the remains of blood disappearing immediately as bone and sinews and muscles give way under her broadsword.

(Let some churl without honor do the dirty work.)

The pieces are still inside of TikTik's bag of holding.

Addie doesn't know whether to be sick or scream.

Gritting her teeth, her prayers start out as acceptable, solemn prayers to the Fisher King, the Sword of Justice, and the Great Dragonlord before they dissolve into begging and snot-filled apologies.

When she goes to sleep, her dreams are filled with lines in the books that Mother and Sir Rittermark had been able to take with them from the castle. The Measure glares up at her, repeating over and over again that a knight should challenge someone to honorable combat.

In between nightmares of her hacking Cravel to pieces, only for his mouth to shriek nonstop at her, it's safe to say that Addie doesn't sleep well.

(She wakes up to realize that she was the one screaming, and it just makes the whole thing that much worse.)

***

The next morning, Addie can't meet Sir Uth Matar's eyes. She feels tired, as tired as Gregor had looked the night before. Her shoulders are slumped in defeat.

"You'll report back to me the moment you return from this quest."

So simple. So easy.

Addie should be suspicious of such simple acceptance. He should want to have nothing to do with her. Something must be wrong with him that he's so willing to accept her when all she's done is show that she really shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the knighthood, let alone given the chance to swear an oath.

(You're such a simpleton that you should take what you can get and be glad of it.)

***

Malachite's idea was sound. It really was.

But the second that she sees her arrows bounce off the dragon's hide, Addie knows that her using a bow is as useful as teaching a fish to climb a tree.

It's only because of repeated drilling that she doesn't throw down her shortbow in disgust. When she gets to Cedric's side, even he seems to be judging her.

Addie grabs her lance, the one that Mother told her had belonged to her father, and prepares herself.

The last time she was in this position, she was facing down a giant that had just nailed her with a boulder that would surely have killed her. Uninjured as she is, stronger and heartier than she had been before, she feels ready.

"Please," she whispers under her breath. "Help me save her."

She gives Cedric the command, and his hooves fly across the courtyard, thundering as they go.

The hit is just as solid as the one she'd given the giant, but there is no exhilaration this time.

When the creature rears up and bites down on her, she grits her teeth around a hoarse shout. The tail slap against her back, nearly knocking her from her saddle, adds insult to injury.

She deserves this pain. Her job is to stand between the monsters that would kill her traveling companions, and take the pain. The gods have blessed her lance so that, moments later, two arrows can find their mark in the monster's soft palate from the spot where Malachite is staying hidden.

Striking the final blow to fell a monster is something that she has to earn.

Addie doesn't hesitate to turn Cedric towards the captive hobgoblin woman and free her bonds. The language barrier prevents her from being able to reassure the hobgoblin that she's all right, but she does pick up the word "Drektown", so that's some comfort.

The other two captives are much like the first -- tanned from work in the sun, their hands callused. Farmers from Drektown who got captured by ogres. It's something that she should bring up with General Drek and Sir Uth Matar when she returns. General Drek is likely going to have to think over what he wants to do with regards to Drektown and the army under their feet, but the fact that the ogres from the Battle for the Silver Circle have been kidnapping farmers to feed the dragon-like creature is something to consider as well.

As it is, Addie gets back on top of Cedric in case of any other unexpected guests, idly punching her side when the pain makes itself known.

She's in pain, and she deserves it.


	14. Session 20: July 7, 2020 [23 Chislmont 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original note reads, "For the game that took place on 7/7. There's a bit of conjecture, so if this isn't good for a journal entry, please let me know so that I can post something better?"
> 
> Spoilers: I was allowed to do what I said in this entry at the beginning of the next game. Sadly, there were fatalities, but the party made it.
> 
> TikTik, sadly, continued his sad tradition of losing his mount. :(

Addie feels a little stupid for not having spoken to Malachite sooner. His soft-spoken nature is soothing to be around, and she's seen for herself how skilled he is in combat.

Doing good works to make up for a failing is good advice.

She can't help a small flinch at a man's death not being in vain if something can be learned from it. She still murdered a man in cold blood. It's very sensible, but the fact that a man had to die in order for her to learn something feels too costly.

Sacerdotem Eden's words about moving past her mistakes, about not focusing too much on things that can't be changed... the advice sits solidly in her chest, in a way that feels right.

Eden and Malachite together... like a mother and an older brother offering counsel.

Addie is hesitant to say that she feels completely better about Cravel's death, but it feels like a step in the right direction.

She'll feel better about actually putting him in the ground though.

If nothing else, the bag of holding won't potentially smell of death.

***

When Addie sees the first snowflakes drift down onto the congregation in the town crossroads, she's terrified that the final hag has returned.

(She will find out later that it's much, _much_ worse.)

***

Ever since she was little, Addie had heard the stories of Huma Dragonbane. What little she remembers of Brendan, when he isn't teasing her and laughing his head off about it, is of him telling her all the scary parts when Mother isn't around.

Huma meeting the silver dragon and befriending them. The dragonlances being forged. The battles that raged in the skies, dragonfire and flashing steel as bright and dangerous as thunderstorms.

Something draws Addie's attention up, away from the oncoming army of dragon-men and hobgoblins still sworn to the forces of darkness.

(There are innocents dying, and she needs to help them.)

The dragons must be a third as large as Drektown itself, if not bigger. Their wingbeats send blasts of cold wind as they dive closer and closer to Drektown.

They each have a rider on their backs. (Addie knows she shouldn't be able to see minute details them, but her brain can't help filling in the blanks. Plate armor. Well-worn saddles with a series of buckles and straps to keep the rider in place with such an unwieldy beast underneath them. Soldiers who are disciplined enough not to give away what they feel as they follow orders.)

The Dragon Highlord is only recognizable because of his mask.

As the dragons get closer and closer, there is a sudden burst of fear in the midst of the bitter cold snap.

Addie can see moments happen in front of her -- the elderly hobgoblin couple being overtaken and overwhelmed by panicked hobgoblins. Whether they're trying to take the cart or they're sating their bloodlust to cope with the sheer panic coursing through them, she doesn't know.

She feels like she's watching a scene in the reflection of a mirror: she can see it, but she's powerless to stop it.

(You are no bystander.)

As the waves of hobgoblins -- panicked, screaming, crying -- flee eastward, towards the port that will be in sight soon (please let it be in sight, please let us reach it in time), Addie looks around her.

Her companions are in the crowd, some further along than others. And in the pandemonium, there are still innocents to save.

(What would your father do?)

There's a hobgoblin that has been slammed into the side of a broken-down cart and is about to fall.

Addie's hand lashes out, grabbing the hobgoblin and hoisting them up into her saddle.

(What about that one?)

Just ahead, Addie sees the flash of a blade as it's about to come down on a screaming hobgoblin woman.

"Up and snap!" Addie shouts.

Cedric whinnies loudly, rearing up on his hind legs and lashing out at the would-be assassin. The hooves smash glancing blows into the back of the hobgoblin's head. The attacker drops, and the hobgoblin who had been saved scrambles to their feet and disappears into the surging wave of panicked life desperately sprinting eastward.

(You can't save them all.)

"I can save the ones I can reach, damn you!" Addie shouts senselessly. Her lack of sleep is taking a toll, but luckily, no one seems to notice the raving woman in splint mail. With any luck, they'll want to run faster, away from her.

The hobgoblin currently righting themselves on her saddle sends her a startled look, and then their eyes widen as they look over Addie's shoulder.

"ASHAK!" they shout in a high voice.

Addie doesn't need a translation. She is, however, stupid enough to actually look behind her.

If the tide of hobgoblins around her is a wave of blind terror and instinct, the army behind her is like watching a plague cloud spread through the city streets. Blades flash, and there are more screams behind them as those unfortunate enough to be there are cut down where they stand.

She turns back to Cedric, holding the hobgoblin close to her, and she rides.


	15. Session 22: July 21, 2020 [25 Chislmont 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original note reads, "Second entry for 7/21/20"
> 
> This is one of the few times I tried drawing something. Considering that there are at least three visual artists in the group, I kind of figured that me doing a little bit better than stick figures was not something people needed to see.
> 
> But in this instance, I was inspired to draw the fire elemental reflected in Addie's mismatched eyes.
> 
> (Don't get excited. It's not actually that impressive. I'll see if I can post it in this entry, or possibly its own page, at some point.)

The roar of flames isn't unusual anymore.

It's gotten to the point where it's more worrying if Addie doesn't hear fire crackling in her ears, experience that godawful smell, and hear the shrieks of creatures being burned alive.

The familiar sharp, searing whine makes Addie flinch for a second, gritting her teeth preemptively against the burn that will come in moments.

Somewhere past the troll's shoulder, a fireball flashes into being, followed by a boom that makes the ship rattle under her feet.

Addie doesn't register pain, and she keeps attacking the troll in front of her. She wants to protect the civilians who are still rowing -- are they still rowing?

(You can't help someone if you're distracted. And you'll just bring more trouble if you don't finish the work in front of you.)

Addie grunts at the long, needle-like teeth slamming down into her shoulder, the metal rending loudly in her ear. The troll tears away a chunk of flesh with a red spray.

Another fireball explodes into life, dying shrieks heralding the smell of cooking flesh.

The troll in front of her seems to hear the fire, but since it's not actively cooking it, it's not that concerned about its fellows dying behind it. Seen in an instinctual light, it makes sense. Her combatant doesn't look like it's eaten recently, and the gauntness of its features make its eyes look even hungrier.

A moment too late, Addie realizes that her theory's distracted her. She shifts in order to get a better footing, and then she feels the nasty sensation of her left foot gliding on bloodstained wood. The only bit of luck she has is that she lands on her ass and not on her back, but the pain is still a sharp enough reminder to keep her head in the game.

The troll is just as thrown off by her fall as she is, its claws scoring her pauldron but its bloodstained teeth snapping at the air inches from her neck. At this point, she'll take the loss of dignity if it means she can stay in the fight longer.

Addie sighs as she gets up, getting her broadsword in front of her, keeping her gaze trained on the troll. It's taller than her by about two feet or so.

And then something... happens.

In her peripheral vision, bits and sparks from the previous fireballs had lingered in the air, like embers drifting from a roaring campfire. It was an odd quirk of fighting alongside Atzca'El, but she hadn't thought anything of it.

Until the sparks and embers freeze in mid-air, and then swirl and dance together.

They circle and spin like a localized tornado of fire and heat. Faster and faster, they swirl until the inferno morphs and thins into a vertical column, higher even than the troll in front of her.

(Deal with the work in front of you before you get distracted by pretty things.)

The column widens as she watches, stunned, and then it splits into something like a tree -- no, more like a creature with two arms the size of tree trunks.

One of the arms swings in a slow, wide arc at the troll in front of Addie.

The troll, following Addie's eyeline, realizes the danger it's in, and ducks out of the way, saving itself from whatever horror the being is about to unleash. Its intelligence outweighs its hunger, because then it sprints for portside and throws itself over the railing.

Addie stares up at the creature made of fire, and feels how very, very small she is.


	16. Session 29: September 8, 2020 [14 Bran 350]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knights of Solamnia are supposed to be skilled with a lance as well as a sword.
> 
> And what's one of the things that you can do with a lance? Brace it against a charge.
> 
> How does Addie learn to do that?
> 
> Very, very painfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entry appears to be entirely flashback! In the session, it was the first time I had Addie brace against a charging creature. And, of course, I only thought of the cool backstory of how she learned _after_ the game session.
> 
> Alas, the whisper on the stairs!

Sir John Rittermark was not a pleasant man in the best of circumstances. His features were too severe to be considered attractive, and he was highly sensitive about the fact that his hair was thinning on top.

Addie frowned with her eyes closed. She was supposed to be praying. They had defeated the monsters in Fistandantilus's laboratory. Melinora had killed the flying, undead naga herself while the rest of them dealt with the... creatures that had erupted from the cavern walls to barrel down on them.

She hadn't offered prayers _once_ while they were down there. She needed to rectify that.

"Distraction is not something that the gods look favorably upon, girl."

She could almost see him in front of her. Dressed in carefully-maintained plate mail, his arms folded across his chest as he stared at her.

Addie thinks that she's only ever seen him blink twice, and those were incidents when she had revealed an astounding amount of stupidity, according to him.

"Spit it out."

Addie started to open her mouth, and then closed it again and shook her head.

Dark eyes narrowed at her. Thin lips curled in a sneer. "Then you had better keep your attention on the present."

Addie lifted the wooden lance in her hands and nodded to show she was ready.

A single eyebrow lifting showed that Sir Rittermark clearly didn't agree. "Explain the purpose of this exercise."

Addie kept her shoulders squared through sheer force of will when all she wanted to do was slump in defeat. "To brace the lance to receive a charge."

"And what are you _not_ doing?"

Frustration won out over obedience. "It doesn't make sense, Sir Rittermark!"

"Oh?" he drawled in that dangerous tone of his. Addie could almost measure the length of rope he was giving her so that she could look the fool. "Pray, do tell."

Addie knew she was in trouble, but she couldn't stop herself. "Whatever is going to be charging at me is going to have enough force to slam me into the ground, Sir! How is my lance supposed to survive the impact and still be usable afterwards? How am I supposed to keep my footing instead of just flying through the air?"

"Figured this out from your maths, did you?" he drawled again. "There's a reason that your eldest brother became a wizard, and you did not."

Addie bit her lip. It was usually Mother who found her lacking compared to her lost older brothers. Perhaps Sir Rittermark and Mother had discussed her progress at some point.

"What was my first instruction when this lesson began?"

"To use the ground to brace the butt of the lance," she answered. "The wet, muddy ground that we're currently standing on."

For a man in his fifties, Rittermark's arm was still fast enough to catch her off-guard. One moment, she was glaring at him in helpless frustration. The next, she was reeling from a gauntlet smashing across her mouth. As she staggered with the hit, stumbling a few paces before straightening up again, she had to admit that she deserved that one.

Rittermark glared her down. "If I wanted a mouthy whore, I would find one."

Addie lowered her eyes to the dirt. "I apologize for my disrespect, Sir Rittermark." The rote apology was automatic at this point.

He showed that he was slightly appeased by nodding sharply. "As you so rudely pointed out, the ground is too soft to serve your purpose." He waited a few moments, and then rolled his eyes. "Since I seem to have knocked what little brains you have left loose, what have I told you about strength?"

Addie frowned. "That if I don't have the strength of my arms, trust in the three gods of our order?" As soon as she said it, she was sure she had given the wrong answer.

Rittermark snorted, a lip curling as if Addie had said something funny. "And now you're overthinking. Perhaps a reminder of your own strength?" He picked up one foot and slammed it down on her right foot.

Addie pinched her lips shut fast enough to only let a short squeak out at the pain. Luckily, she was also wearing her full kit, so the stomp didn't break any toes. It still smarted like crazy, though.

"What should you use to brace your lance?" Rittermark arched an eyebrow. He hadn't lifted his boot, but Addie knew he was waiting for her to give the wrong answer so he could grind his heel in.

Luckily for her, the answer came to her the second his foot had made contact. "The edge of my boot!" The pain increased as he started to apply pressure. "Under my foot so the lance doesn't break the armor!" Addie gasped in audible relief when the boot disappeared. She shifted so that she could lift it without him noticing.

His unimpressed look told her just how stealthy she was. "Good. Get your backpack. We're going to Dead Man's Hill."

Addie frowned, confused by the sudden order. "What are we going to do there?"

"I'm going to roll barrels full of rocks down the hill at you, and you're going to stop them with your lance." Rittermark's smile was worse than his glaring. "And if you so much as take one step out of formation, Paladine himself won't be able to help you."

Addie gulped.


	17. Session 30: September 15, 2020 [17 Bran 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeskip Nonsense!
> 
> So, during this session, our wizard in the party discovered that she had just taken her Test of High Sorcery, which is a thing that wizards after a certain level have to do in the DragonLance setting in order to not get hunted down and killed by the established wizard orders.
> 
> While she was off traveling and having trippy tests of moral character and what-have-you, the rest of the party had actually spent a number of weeks in Deepwater, and we got to describe what we did while we were there.
> 
> After Session 30, there's a big timeskip. :D

[Timeskip Nonsense, 9/15/20, 1/2]

The morning after the fight with the white dragon and its ill-fated rider, Addie woke up to find that the sun had already risen to full strength. She blinked, stared up at the ceiling and waited for disapproval to rain down on her.

And yet, nothing happened.

No one pounded on her door, screaming at her for being an inconsiderate lout for still being in bed. No one eased it open, tentatively asking if she was all right.

Just... nothing.

Addie rolled over, wincing as some of her bruises and cuts protested. Easing her back towards the wall, she stared at her kit. Her armor needed polishing. Her lance probably had some scratches she needed to take care of.

She stared, and then took a rare moment to hunch further into the covers.

Just this once, she would let herself enjoy being in bed.

***

That feeling of disconnectedness got worse as the days passed.

Melinora had left so quickly that Addie hadn't had a chance to wish her good luck on her Test.

With her sudden absence, it felt like the rest of the group had taken it as silent permission to separate. Not to part ways, but there was a definite sensation of drifting, each person taking space for themselves to rest and process what they had been through. Like lily pads in a pond.

So, in the absence of the next monstrous creature trying to kill the party or the citizens of Deepwater, Addie mentally stepped back as well and tried to figure out what she needed when they weren't jumping from one situation to the next.

***

Addie probably shouldn't have been wandering around town during the hottest part of the day. It was the only reason she could think of as to why she was staring at a fountain that looked really nice. That, and the nagging feeling that there was something familiar about it.

Like how the shape of the stones in the fountain reminded her of a dragon's snout.

Blinking a few times, she stared at the fountain, and -- there. There it was again. It wasn't like seeing a cloud and thinking that it looked like an anvil if you tilted your head. It really was a dragon's head.

The longer she stared, the more symbols she found. Always faint, always easy to miss, but still _there_.

Addie sent a quick, silent prayer to Paladine, and then hurried away.

***

The ceremonial combat arena was harder to miss. City guards patrolled the area, of course, but it didn't feel forbidding. They just seemed to be carrying out their orders in such a easygoing way that showed that no one had bothered investigating the space in recent memory.

Addie stared at the open space, and wondered if she could just... ask to use it. Just walk up to one of the guards with her full kit, and ask permission to use the space. She could run through her broadsword drills. And her lance drills. And even her _mounted_ lance drills. It was certainly wide enough for it.

There were even symbols to the Sword of Justice built into the walls. Just as subtle as the fountain, but there was no mistaking this place.

Biting her lip, Addie stared at the arena like a child at a stall selling sweets that her mother refused to buy, and then walked straight to the Old Keep.

***

Addie stepped forward when the couple in front of her stepped to one side, and cleared her throat.

"State your business," Captain Rennard said with an almost bored tone.

"Good morning, sir," she said quickly. "I saw a place in town that seems to be some kind of combat arena, but it's currently not being used. Is it possible that I can use it for practice drills? Both on foot and mounted?"

Captain Rennard stared at her for a long moment. "Fine. Don't hurt anyone unless it's yourself."

Addie beamed. "Yessir." She saluted quickly. "Thank you, sir."

Rennard waved her away. "Next."

***

When she found the park where the trees were lush, and the pond was filled with large, healthy fish, Addie couldn't chalk it up to coincidence anymore.

These subtle places, ready for someone to see them but otherwise content to quietly exist, were _everywhere_.

And if there were shrines to the gods of the Solamnic Knights -- and the ancient, underground temple to Sirrion tucked safely under the Old Keep -- there had to be more in the city.

Addie was tempted to bring it up at dinner that night, but everyone seemed so wrapped up in their own thoughts that it seemed impertinent to intrude on time everyone had taken for themselves.

***

Addie fell into a routine from there.

She returned to her habit of waking at daybreak with little trouble, bolting down a short, edible breakfast before heading out the door of the Cracked Mug in her full kit. She mapped out a running path through the city that would interfere with as few people as possible while maintaining a good speed. She quoted the names of high-born Solamnic families and their heraldry under her breath in order to keep herself going at a steady pace and not get side-stitches.

The cobblestones melted away into the zigzagging footpaths of the Fisher King's park in the first hour. The smell of trees and sap overtook the sharp smell of the ocean. Birdsong drowned out the crash of surf against shore. At the end of the labyrinth of pines and birch, Addie would kneel at the edge of the pond and close her eyes. Her prayers to the Fisher King would include quiet thanks for the small reminder of the woods back home despite being so far away.

Paladine's fountain wasn't far from there. It was almost comically easy to miss it, (as she had the first few times she had gone running), but Addie trained herself to pay attention. When it came into view, she ran a little faster, and then plopped herself down next to it, wiping the sweat from her forehead and earning a few confused looks as she rested her back against the stone and gave herself a chance to breathe. After silent prayers and thanks for keeping anymore evil dragons from attacking the city, Addie wrestled her way to her feet, made sure she had all of her gear was in place, and started off again.

Right between the third and fourth hour of her run, Addie inevitably found her way to the stables to fetch Cedric. And from there, to the ceremonial combat arena dedicated to the Sword of Justice.

***

Cedric, Addie thought, definitely approved of the change in the routine. She had always gone to visit him during her morning run, but now, the two of them were flying up and down the length in a way that they hadn't had a chance to since the fields back in Erehwon. A few hastily-purchased barrels and wooden dummies stood in for ravening giants and enemy soldiers, and exploded into satisfying splinters on impact. When Addie practiced her broadsword drills, Cedric rested in the shade and drank water when he needed to.

When the two of them started getting tired, the two of them ate lunch (Addie inhaling bread and cheese wrapped in cloth, Cedric a feedbag of oats followed by an apple or two), and then it was back to the stables for a rubdown and a grooming session.

After bidding Cedric a reluctant farewell, Addie let herself wander. No one paid her much mind -- why would another human stick out in this sprawling place? -- and she didn't mind becoming one with the crowd. Her eyes would catch on signs, bright banners, parked stalls in the market. The city was filled with barkers selling wares, families going on with their lives, city guards keeping a steady eye on things. Every once in a while, Addie would see TikTik juggling and making jokes for an enraptured group of children and some adults who were pretending not to be so enthralled.

Addie would also wander by an armorer shop to stare wistfully at a shop dummy dressed in set of gleaming full plate armor. She had idly asked about the price one time, knowing she didn't have nearly enough coin, and smiled apologetically for wasting the armorer's time. Still, it was a beautiful piece, and she could almost imagine her older brother wearing it as he rode into battle.

It was at dinner when the party came together, though Addie could feel Melinora's absence. She couldn't say that she was worried, exactly? Melinora had had solutions for problems when they'd come up during their travels -- on one memorable occasion, she had stopped those amphibious frog-men from eating Addie by claiming that Addie was her property. And Melinora was clear-headed enough to be able to look at situations objectively. She would be fine.

Addie could admit to herself that she was a little concerned what color of Melinora's robes would be when she got back. But she had a fairly good idea what they might be already.

Melinora wearing White Robes felt a little preposterous. She didn't spontaneously commit to actions because it was The Right Thing to Do. She looked for the trap, the catch. She took the time to be logical, to figure out the best course of action. She hang back and assisted the hobgoblin captives who were going to be fed to the flightless dragon, not because she felt the need to save them, but because she knew Addie would want to. She didn't charge headfirst into danger. (That was Addie's job.)

And yet, Addie didn't think that Melinora would take the Black Robes? There had been that moment when she'd said that the party were her friends, and it had sounded like she was telling the truth. If she were really so mercenary with people's lives that she would take the Black Robes, Addie had no doubt that Melinora wouldn't have bothered lying about them being her tools.

But it wasn't a sure thing. Maybe there was something that happened during the Test that demanded mercenary choices. Did you kill the girl because otherwise, an entire village would be destroyed? Did you burn down the entire town riddled with plague to keep the disease from spreading? Melinora would do the logical thing, first and foremost.

The Red Robes made the most sense. The Knighthood would look askance at Melinora because she would be walking the path of Neutrality, but Addie figured that if she presented her cases as logically as possible, Melinora would listen to them.

(The less said about Addie trying to convince the group to search for the tomb of Huma Dragonbane, the better.)

And considering that there were evil dragons flying around, actively attacking civilian populations without any indication of good dragons being equally active, it might be easier to present a case for assistance.

Addie was determined to be happy for Melinora, first and foremost. Because the Test was lethal to the unprepared. And Melinora had worked hard for her knowledge. She deserved to be acknowledged for her abilities.

Until then, however, Addie would have to wait.


	18. Session 31: September 29, 2020 [14 Argon 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epic timeskip!

Hope is a funny thing.

Looking back on her stupid decisions now, she can see how pathetically hopeful she was when Gregor Uth Matar--

(Should she still call him "sir"? Is he still a knight, or has he already been stripped of his title? What's the proper form of address to a man whose gambling debts outweighed his good sense, and is indirectly responsible for the rash of newly-minted Solamnic coin in Nostar? Not that it matters now -- the island is going to be put to the torch soon. Or the absolute winter of white dragon breath.)

\--decided to make her a provisional knight.

Sir Rittermark had never told her of such a thing when he was instructing her. His rigidity and adherence to protocol was a double-edged sword, perhaps. Maybe he had heard of the practice and had never accepted it.

(Could the knighthood have changed that much while she was hidden away in a village protected by magic? Or has her naivete blinded her so much that she thinks that things can change so rapidly in fourteen years?)

Still, the protocol he drummed into her head might have saved what little face Houses Pennington and Trent had left when addressing Master Greymantle.

(If he thinks that Addie is in _any_ way capable of containing TikTik, the man is sorely mistaken. Judging her by her ability to make a kender do something he's not inclined to do is as unfair as expecting a fish to climb a tree.)

Master Greymantle being turned to stone by those bizarre magical chickens might have been the only silver lining in the whole affair. Protocol dictated that Abbot Fellcastle defer to his superior. With his superior... indisposed, he had a chance to speak freely.

Sir Uth Matar gave her hope because he was a knight (or so she thought at the time), who was still intensely, achingly human in all his faults. Who was willing to give her a second chance.

Abbot Fellcastle... his humanity is like seeing a light in a cracked door. If there are others like him in the order, willing to give her a chance--

(Because of her name? Despite her name? How is she supposed to know now?)

\--then maybe she's not the failure she's felt like since she left Erehwon...


	19. Session 32: October 6, 2020 [14 Argon 350]

On the one hand, Addie's been through this before. She's a provisional knight, because she still has to go to Palanthus in order to testify her worthiness to join the order.

On the other hand, there's something more... solid about Abbot Fellcastle that Gregor Uth Matar didn't have. It's easy to say that Gregor was a troubled man with gambling debts, but Addie hadn't known that at the time. She can look back in hindsight all she wants, but she was still duped.

Abbot Fellcastle has the mantle of respectability. The man is second-in-command to Master Greymantle, who either feels that Fellcastle is a good enough man to rely on -- which is reassuring. Or pressured into keeping the man around by political forces, which is definitely not.

Either way, all this is is just the first step.

If she wants to "take on a leadership role in the knighthood", which being a Sword Knight most definitely _is_ , then she has to retake Castle Pennington and restore the Trent and Pennington honor.

No big deal.

The more she thinks about it, the more insurmountable it feels.

Then again, the idea of leaving Erehwon had felt unfathomable before she had been sent after the others, and she's here now in Deepwater because of what's happened to them.

And they're about to go into the sewers in order to talk to a copper dragon. Because the copper dragon is angry about a thief stealing items from its hoard, and has decided to ruin the city that it protects...?

The more she thinks about it, the worse it feels. The House of Doors is never to be trusted, and it would be best to inform the knighthood and the city guard.

But what if there was something down there that the city guards or even the knights couldn't deal with? What if there was something that would take the specific skill sets of her traveling companions to contend with?

Addie wants to find the House of Doors to a man and arrest them, to let the proper authorities mete out justice. (She wants them all dead, but that isn't justice. She had accidentally appointed herself as an executioner exactly once, and she can't do that again. She just can't.)

Still, if there is something in the sewers that's really causing the destruction of the city that this copper dragon can't contend with on their own, then it would make sense to go down there and help.

(Atzca'El and Melinora are right that they could just walk away, but Addie can't do it. Not if she can prevent further loss of life from this specific threat.)


	20. Session 33: October 20, 2020 [15 Argon 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for suffocation!
> 
> Addie keeps getting paralyzed because of bad dice rolls, and this time was especially bad. :(

Addie ran forward with Atzca'El because, at first, she thought the blue-skinned giant was real.

(Idiot girl.)

And then when she saw that it wasn't, she ran forward because, even if Atzca'El doesn't think so, she considers him a friend. Or perhaps a colleague? Definitely a traveling companion.

She knows what it's like to feel embarrassed and stupid in front of others.

(It happens all the time.)

So, she ran forward.

The giant wasn't real, but the gigantic insect... thing... was.

(Traps inside of traps, whelp. What better way to lure the gullible and imbecilic than to give them a false sense of security?)

The uncomfortably familiar feeling of paralysis kicked in, locking her limbs in place. But instead of freezing in place with her teeth gritted, her mouth was slightly open. So, she looked a little stupid as the dozen draconians thundered at them. But she was helpless when the stone floor softened into mud the consistency of quicksand under her feet.

One moment, she was waiting out the paralysis with Melinora and TikTik nearby. The next, she plummeted like a rock, and she was still frozen in place. Mud sanded her skin. Her open eyes felt like they were being peeled like grapes.

(I taught you how to fight blind for a reason, simpleton.)

The only silver lining out of this whole mess was that Addie had able to take a gulp of air the second she felt the sharp drop in her spine.

That same sharp drop hadn't stopped.

Until it did, because the mud solidified instantly into stone.

Stone pressed against her burning eyeballs, against her skin. She was completely encased. It pressed against her ribs, threatening what little air she had left.

Moments slowed to a crawl. Her heart hammered against her chest in panic. Then it throbbed in her ears. Her lungs burned. If she wanted to end it faster, she just needed to try to breathe.

[fisher king, please let me breathe]

[sword of justice, please let me protect the others]

[great dragonlord, i swear i'll be wiser in the future]

[fisherkingswordofjusticegreatdragonlordfisherkingswordofjusticegreatdragonlordfisherkingswordofjustice]

[Father, I'm so sorry.]

... The thundering wasn't just in her chest.

There was something hammering against the stone around her, because suddenly, there was loose dust and rock and stone landing on her tongue, making her want to choke.

But she could _breathe_.

She was still frozen in place. Her body hung suspended in stone.

Distantly, she could hear through the cracked airway, the shouts of her companions in trouble.

Addie tried to move her arms, her legs, _anything_.

[Habbakuk, Kiri-Jolith, Paladine--]

[THEY'RE IN DANGER.]

[ **HELP THEM.** ]


	21. Session 34: October 27, 2020 [15 Argon 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares and bad things continue to happen to Addie.
> 
> It's okay, bb. Life is hard. *patpat*

Addie doesn't remember stumbling into her room, or taking care to put away her arms and armor.

The only reason she even remembers trying to pray is because of how much her knees hurt when they slam into the floor, and how the mattress feels under her elbows.

And only then, she only ever manages to respectfully murmur Habbakuk's epithet before she has to clench her jaw tight to keep from screaming.

She tries again with Kiri-Jolith, but her eyes are _burning_ , even after the regeneration ioun stone has worked its magic on her scratched corneas. Her nose isn't far behind, starting to drip, and then run in earnest.

She can't even manage Paladine, because all she can see in front of her burning eyes is Arla the Fierce, her eyes glaring into hers before they light up at seeing the figurine of the bear.

She doesn't remember falling asleep. She only feels a wave of exhaustion wash over her, and then nothing.

***

A man carrying his own head against his side smirks at her. And then the smirk drops. "I should've had a trial. Breaking into a man's room isn't punishable by death, last I heard."

His body is slowly hacked into pieces, but it doesn't bother him.

"Then again, I'm not hearing much of anything nowadays. Now, who's fault is that?"

***

Sir Rittermark glares with his usual irritation. "Well, slattern? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Addie tries to say something, but his hand snaps up to stop her.

"Don't even bother. This is fairly standard for you, isn't it? You've saddled me with your mess because you can't be bothered to stay and face the consequences of your actions."

Addie's throat burned, and she tasted dirt and mud.

"Go cry behind your mother's skirts like you always do. Just don't bother the gods with your weakness."

***

Mother looks too pale, in finery that Addie has only ever seen packed away in a dusty trunk.

"How dare you," she says simply. "How dare you live when your brother died to protect us. Your father would be ashamed that I produced a reckless failure like you."

"Look what you've done."

Addie turns to look where her mother is pointing.

***

The streets of Drektown are in chaos. She sees the old hobgoblin and his wife get cut down before she can reach them. The hobgoblin she saved is ripped apart as she watches. Now the literal dead weight is dragging Cedric down.

A copper-skinned draconian hisses at her in sibilant Common. "You should've known we were here. Their deaths are your fault."

Addie looks around at the madness, sees Gregor fighting for his life against four copper-skinned draconians, and tries to make her way over to him.

"No, not them."

A scaly finger points.

"Them."

***

The town of Boremium is peaceful and quiet. The early spring air is crisp. Dew clings to the grass, the leaves on the trees.

And then the draconians march.

Addie's eyes burn, and then when her vision clears, a host of faceless villagers -- men, women, children -- surround her in a ring.

"You didn't send word to us to find Erehwon."

"You left us to die."

"It's your fault."

Out of the crowd, a man with a handlebar mustache and mismatched eyes steps forward and stares at her. The rest of his features are blurry. She only knows that he's disappointed.

He sighs once, and murmurs, "You deserve this."

***

Addie wakes up, in full sleep paralysis.

Each moment that passes is an endless eternity.

The second her limbs unlock, Addie buries her tear-streaked face in her pillow.

And screams.


	22. Session 35: November 3, 2020 [15-17 Argon 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the session started with a scene or two, and then there was a two-day timeskip in the middle of things that got us to the start of the classic module our DM ran us through, which is why the date is listed like it is in the chapter name. Sorry if there was any confusion there!
> 
> Mechanically speaking, Addie was going from a specialist Fighter to a Paladin, so it seemed like she needed to get the explanation of "This is what is required of a paladin", especially considering that Sir Rittermark definitely _isn't_ one, and there wasn't really anyone else to tell her. In-game, Addie was knighted, and then the assembled knights (all seven of them, including Gregor) started eating and drinking heavily, which doesn't really lend itself well to serious instruction on how to be a holy knight of Kiri-Jolith.
> 
> So, my solution? Weird-ass alcohol-induced dream! Pink elephants have never been so instructive or coherent!
> 
> For anyone who's worried about the first part, what's happening is that Addie's being carried into a bed, having only her armor removed (not her clothes), and then put into the recovery position. She's super drunk, but I headcanoned that she was also undergoing a kind of vision quest from Kiri-Jolith that you had to be super drunk for. This is kind of a ritual for Sword Knights, and anyone on hand helps carry the new knight to bed.

Ale, Addie has to admit, is really kind of amazing.

It still tastes absolutely terrible, of course. But after losing count of how many times her fellow knights (knights! She's a knight now! Yay!) have refilled her tankard, she feels like she's sort of hovering over her seat instead of full weighted down. Things have taken on an air of unreality. She feels like her head is wrapped in cotton, and her hearing seems to be going in and out.

The fact that she was able to talk coherently to Gregor one last time before he retreated for his quarters was a minor miracle in and of itself.

Her third plate of food sits in front of her half-demolished when she registers someone breathing heavily right behind her.

She tries to look over her shoulder, but only sees Khristoph chatting and laughing with Jameson.

(Stand down, knight.)

Addie turns back around quickly, trying to find the source. The heavy breathing is still loud in her ears. No one else seems to have noticed their newcomer. Ordinarily, she would be tense and ready to draw her broadsword, but her limbs are too loose from the ale.

(There are no enemies here.)

In the distant, sober part of her mind, Addie grumbles that the more you tell someone to calm down, the more likely they are to get more agitated.

(Then allow me to suggest you don't fight what's about to happen.)

Addie tries to demand an explanation, but the most she manages is "Wha--" before hands land on her shoulders.

"--Pennington, up you go."

"Time for the first--"

"--this is a bit… well…?"

"Wearing … is just as bad … sleeping…"

Addie shakes her head, trying to clear it, but the hands are strong. First, she's lifted to her feet, and then arms slide under hers, hoisting her up like the world's heaviest scarecrow.

"Paladine's wings, she's heavy!"

"I'm betting you weren't … when you…"

Her feet plod against different kinds of flooring before she's brought to a halt. Her weight comes off in bites and pieces, making her feel like she's about to fly through the ceiling because nothing's holding her down. But then the hands guide her to sit on a soft mattress, and then lay down on it. She lays down on her back and closes her eyes.

When she opened them again, she found herself in a woodland clearing, not unlike the park dedicated to Habbakuk in Deepwater. The water ran clear, and while she could see birds perched in the nearby trees, she couldn't hear them.

Everything would've been fine if the heavy breathing hadn't still been  _ right behind her. _

Addie turned around again, but there was an odd sound, like someone snorting.

(You have already fought that combatant, knight. Stand down.)

A warm, heavy weight settled over her. For a second, she sucked in her breath, ready for the crushing weight of stone, but then she caught a whiff of… lavender?

"Whoa!"

"What's going--"

When Addie tried to speak, her mouth wouldn't move, but her voice echoed in her head. WHAT WAS THAT?

(Your brothers-in-arms are helping you. Do not resist.)

"Remember … stone? Move that-- Here."

Soft fabric brushed against her cheeks. Addie froze.

(No harm will come to you. Stand down.)

The smell of lavender grew stronger, and Addie was suddenly reminded of -- of all things -- one of her mother's favorite dresses.

(Better.) The voice sounded… warm. Approving.

(You will master that fear in time, knight. But for now, you have more pressing matters before you.)

I DO?

(Yes. This sacred place has been corrupted.)

CORRUPTED-- I HAVE TO STOP IT.

"Again?!"

"She's only tensing."

(You have to find it first before you can stop it, knight. How would you do that?)

Addie's heart plummeted in her chest. This was the kind of thing Rittermark would do when beginning a new lesson--

(This is no trick. Find it.)

Addie looked around quickly. The clearing was still pristine, the water still clear. The birds sang noiselessly. THE BIRDS?

(It is not that obvious, knight. Concentrate. Find the source of the evil.)

A heavy hand landed on the top of her head and slowly forced to turn to her right.

"Finish turning--"

"Get another--"

Hands, invisible ones, hooked over her shoulders from in front of her and levered her to her right so her neck straightened.

(Now that you're prepared, it's time to move forward. Concentrate.)

Addie concentrated, not sure what she was supposed to be  _ doing _ , necessarily, but trying her best. Finally, a niggling worry blossomed into a wave of uneasiness, quickly followed by a stench that rivaled Deepwater's sewer system. Swiveling her head from side to side and trying not to gag, she focused on finding the worst of the stench, and ran toward it.

"There she goes."   
"Right, right."

"Godspeed--!"

She moved faster in the forest than she would in Deepwater, but it wasn't any different from her morning runs. The forest seemed to go on forever, thick and impenetrable, but a game trail continued to appear in front of her as she moved. As her pace quickened, she caught sight of a large rock, easily the size of a house, reeking of foreboding.

THERE.

(You know your vows. Continue.)

Addie ran for the rock, and just before her hand touched the rough surface, a heavy wooden door appeared. She tried the handle.

(Be cautious.)

OF COURSE. The latch gave easily, and she walked inside.

The only warning she had was a loud hissing like a snake preparing to strike before a bead of bright light flashed into existence in the darkness ahead.

OH, SHIT-- Addie shouted, throwing herself to one side, using one of her hands to cover her face.

The streak of light lanced across the room, slamming into the door she had just entered, and exploded into a ball of fire. Addie closed her eyes tight, waiting for the searing heat, the pain, but nothing happened.

Addie's eyes popped open, and she looked back at the doorway, which was scorched black. A few embers glowed faintly before cooling. HOW DID I DODGE THAT? I'M NOT USUALLY THAT FAST AT REACTING.

(You cannot obey your vows if you can be brought low by something as trivial as this.)

A FIREBALL IS  _ TRIVIAL _ ? Addie breathed heavily, staring wide-eyed at the spot where she had been standing and wondering how much of a cinder she would've left.

(I did not misspeak, knight. Your task is not finished.)

Addie shook her head vigorously to clear it, turning to survey her surroundings.

It was a wide room, with torches burning in high wall sconces, sending shadows dancing across the rough, stone floor. There were three doors, each of them made of some dark material carved into grinning skulls, the eyes some dark gemstones. The place carried an air of malevolence that was difficult to ignore.

A familiar figure, wearing red robes that highlighted her pale features and white-blonde hair, stood before some sort of altar. Addie could only assume as much because it was a pedestal that stood at about waist height, and on top of it was some kind of iron statue that had been melted by something into unrecognizability.

MELINORA?

_ There's no need to shout, _ Melinora replied.  _ You're loud enough as it is. _

Addie rolled her eyes but joined her next to the altar. WHAT'S THIS THING?

_ An artifact of great power. I'm trying to identify its properties, but something is blocking my ability to do so. _

SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED SOME HEAVY LIFTING?

_ If you would, I would be most appreciative. _ Melinora stepped back, watching the pedestal and slagged statue with interest.  _ I think this could be useful in my studies. _

Addie stared at the slagged metal, mentally trying to estimate how much she was going to have to strain to lift this thing. ANY IDEA WHERE TIKTIK IS? JUST TO MAKE SURE THIS WON'T BLOW UP IN OUR FACES?

_ I imagine he's investigating other parts of this place with the other three. _ Melinora thought for a moment, and then retreated further back.  _ As for it blowing up in our faces? It will undoubtedly do so. _

Addie nodded, grabbing the statue and lifted it with startling ease. YOU SURE THIS THING IS TRAPPED-- she began before the heart of the statue started to glow a bright color. The color reached out a tendril to Addie, but recoiled sharply the second it touched her skin.

WHAT--?

(It is a child of Morgion, with evil and a will to use it to infect everything around it. You are protected from such things now.)

Another tendril, paler than the one that touched Addie, shot out towards Melinora and slammed into her chest. Melinora doubled over, sank to her knees, and then lay on her side, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

MELINORA!

Addie dropped the statue, the loud clang reverberating through the stone floor. In moments, she was kneeling beside her.

SKAMMOUS! ATZCA'EL! MELINORA'S DOWN!

(They're not here, knight. You are.)

I CAN'T HELP HER! Addie's breathing came fast and panicked. SIR RITTERMARK NEVER TAUGHT ME--

(You are a Knight of the Sword. Act like it.)

Addie pressed her hand to Melinora's forehead, frightened by how blistering it felt against her skin. HELP ME. PLEASE HELP ME. SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS. I SHOULD'VE--

(It is not a question of being deserving. It is a question of exercising the will of your order's patron. Exercise it now.)

Addie bowed her head, squeezed her eyes tight, and gritted her teeth.

KIRI-JOLITH, HEAL THIS DISEASE FROM HER.

(Why should he?)

Addie's heart stopped. Her eyes snapped open. Melinora was covered in sweat, her eyes darting in crazy directions under her eyelids.

(She is defenseless against this creature. What vow did you take?)

TO PROTECT THE DEFENSELESS.

(That is your answer.)

Addie pressed her hand flat against Melinora's chest, and gritted her teeth. Her hand tingled.

**KIRI-JOLITH, HELP ME RID THIS DISEASE FROM HER.**

Melinora's eyes snapped open, and she started coughing. She rolled over to her side, her body wracked with coughing before a black ichor splattered against the floor.

MELINORA, ARE YOU OKAY?

_ I am,  _ she managed weakly. _ But that creature is getting away. _

SHIT-- Addie looked around just in time to see the ichor bubble and slither its way under one of the stone doors. For such a small puddle of… fluid, it was certainly very fast.

_ Oh, dear. _

LET ME GUESS. THAT'S THE DOOR ATZCA'EL WENT INTO, AND EVERYONE WENT AFTER HIM.

_ It is indeed. _

Addie groaned. WELL, WE NEED TO CATCH UP ANYWAY.

_ I imagine the statue is safe to handle-- _

ASSEMBLE FIRST. PLAY WITH CREEPY THINGS LATER. C'MON.

The stone door creaked open as they approached, and five ghouls emerged. They lifted their hands -- the black claws on their hands glittering in the torchlight. Addie's chest tightened, remembering the rainy afternoon in the ruined area, the ghouls attacking them--

(Turn them.)

Addie stopped short. WHAT?

(They are undead beneath your notice. Act quickly.)

_ If you have something for this, I would advise using it now, _ Melinora said, lifting her hands to cast a spell.

(Call on your patron.)

Addie stepped forward, her heart pounding, her body shaking. HEY, YOU!

The ghouls turned to look at her.

YEAH, YOU! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

The ghouls, without missing a beat, leapt forward.

(While I can appreciate courage in the face of fear, you really do need to  _ call on your patron _ . Dig deep, concentrate, and try again.)

The moment that Addie concentrated, she felt an electric jolt running through her skin. Her lips tingled. Her eyes itched.

**KIRI-JOLITH COMMANDS THEE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.**

_ That _ made an impression. The ghouls stopped mid-stride, stared at Addie, and then turned right back around and fled the way they came.

Presumably right back to where the others were.

AH, SHIT, Addie grumbled. IT'S PROBABLY A POSITIONING THING. I'LL GET IT RIGHT NEXT TIME.

Melinora gave her a curious look before straightening her robes.  _ Indeed. Shall we move on? _

Addie nodded, jogging ahead of her. She moved to get her shield off her back, only to find it already settled on her arm, her broadsword out of its scabbard and in her right hand.

It didn't take long to find the others, though when Addie and Melinora caught up, Atzca'El was smashing a decrepit skeleton to shards with his tail, and Malachite had just caught his throwing axe.

TikTik sat down on a stone slab large enough to support him, nursing a shallow cut down one leg.

EVERYONE ALL RIGHT? Addie looked over the others.

_ Nothing a few spells won't fix, _ Skammous said, applying a softly glowing hand to his side and breathing easier when the glow faded.  _ Though we're going to have to find a place to rest soon. _

(You can heal the kender.)   
  
BUT HE'S NOT SICK? Addie looked over at TikTik. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU DIDN'T GET ATTACKED BY SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE BLACK ICHOR, DID YOU?

_ Huh? Oh, no, nothing like that, but that sounds really exciting! Did you see something like that-- _

Addie knelt down next to him, and her hand tingled again. She reached out, and pressed her hand just above the long scratch running down TikTik's calf.

As the two of them watched, the skin knit itself back together again, the blood beading up and disappearing as Addie wiped it away.

_ Oh, wow! Where did you learn to do that?! _ TikTik asked with wide, pale eyes.

I, UM. I GOT KNIGHTED. Addie managed a smile. NOW I CAN ACTUALLY BE GREAT.

_ But you were always great before you became a knight. _

Addie blinked, and watched as TikTik turned into so many scraps of paper, and flitted away on a gentle breeze. She watched the others disappear until she was left in a barren room, not unlike her room back home in Erehwon.

THEY KEEP SAYING THAT.

(Because it is true. You have done much.)

I JUST DID WHAT I COULD.

(You've been submerged in your self-doubt for so long that you have trouble listening. It is a failing you should correct.)

ANY KNIGHT WOULD'VE DONE IT BETTER THAN ME.

(They were not present to do what you accomplished.)

Addie sighed. I KNOW.

(You misunderstand. You were not confirmed by ceremony, but you have acted in accordance to your conscience, which makes you a knight. Uth Matar declared you to be a Crown Knight on the sea to serve his own ends, but my brother knew you then.)

Addie felt herself blushing and was powerless to stop it, even as one and one came together to make two. THE LANCE?

(You called upon me to fell an evil creature who threatened you, your companions, and your quest to heal Drektown's sick and dying. I bless those who conduct warfare on behalf of the weak and defenseless. Act in accordance with my wishes, and my blessing shall remain yours.)

Addie bit her lip. EVEN IF I'M AT MY LOWEST POINT?

There was a pause before the voice spoke again. (On what day are you brought low?)

Addie blinked. I DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND?

(Warriors ebb and flow like the tides. There are better days and worse, for some.)

BUT THERE ISN'T JUST ONE DAY THAT'S HARD FOR ME. IT TENDS TO CHANGE...?

A long sigh warmed her ear. (I hereby command you to give unto me that which is mine, knight. You shall spend one day each week in solemn meditation and prayer.)

Addie's shoulders slumped. Well, wasn't that just typical? MY PRAYERS HAVEN'T BEEN ENOUGH?

(They are the well wishes of a child in too much of a hurry to slay the next monster, or save the next village. Render unto me that which is mine.)

I'M SORRY I OFFENDED YOU.

(You rendered no insult to me, knight. You were given orders to follow, but not properly instructed in how to best carry them out. The failing is Rittermark's, not yours. Now, you will correct your haphazard worship.)

YES, MY LORD.

(On the day that you keep holy, I hereby command you to follow these laws:)

(You will not do battle, in my name or any other. You have learned the value of your sword, and you have seen for yourself the consequences of using it without careful thought.)

An image of Cravel flashed in front of her, leering at her before his head slumped off his shoulders and landed on the ground in a puddle of his own blood.

(You will not earn profit on my holy day. Mercenaries earn profit. Their god is the steel coin, the platinum. If you are focused on wealth, you are not focused on your devotion to myself and the knighthood.)

As she watched, Cravel's head and body turned to liquid steel, which held its shape for a moment before splashing into a dark puddle and seeping into the ground.

(You shall not speak harshly to anyone, even an enemy. Your tongue is as much a weapon as your sword. Some conflicts can be halted before they start. You will learn this if you are to become a Rose.)

Addie winced. She privately thought it was always going to be a failing of hers, but then again, she could try to work on it.

(By extension, you will not travel on the day you give to me, unless in silence. Follow these laws, and you will know my favor.)

YES, MY LORD. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMANDS. HOW SHALL I PRAY TO YOU?

(First, you will give an hour to my brother, to thank him for the forests and animals and natural places that you see and protect.)

Addie nodded, biting her lip. She remembered the park that she helped restore, both with the money she'd accumulated and her bare hands.

(Then you shall give an hour to me, that you will meditate upon  _ why _ you enter combat, and what purpose it has served you in the week before, and the week to come.)

(Lastly, you will give an hour to my father, so that you will receive his wisdom and guidance. When I see fit, I shall grant you divine power so that you will work my wonders to those who need protection or require you to dispense justice.)

MY LORD, YOU SAID "WHEN"...?

(Doubt rings loudly in your ears, but you are correct. I said "when" because I know you will do so. Those of your lineage have proven themselves for four hundred years. You will not fail them, because you cannot. You are a Pennington.)

THERE MUST ALWAYS BE A PENNINGTON IN THE KNIGHTS…

(And there must always be a Rose among the Penningtons. Each of them followed me and executed my will before they were granted the opportunity to serve my father. You will do the same.)

YES, MY LORD.

(My other laws are as follows, knight. Listen closely and heed them, or else you will lose my favor.)

Addie nodded sharply.

(Mercenaries adorn themselves with wealth. True knights do not. You will only keep enough to live modestly and execute my will. Whatever excess you receive, you will donate to a worthy cause. You will also tithe in my name.)

WHAT ABOUT MAGIC ITEMS? Addie thought with some concern about the ioun stone that had helped her recover her strength many times.

(I will not force you to face evil unprepared. You will only keep enough to protect yourself and others.)

YES, MY LORD. THANK YOU.

(You will find, in time, that others will follow your companions. This will not be so for you. Any person you employ must follow the ideals of lawfulness and goodness.)

TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL END UP HIRING ANYONE?

(You never know, knight. Circumstances may arise when such a transaction is required. Keep it in mind.)

I WILL, MY LORD. Addie hesitated before asking, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I SHOULD REMEMBER?

(You are  _ my _ knight, Adrianna Pennington. You have been found worthy because you have shown yourself to be so with your words and actions.)

EVEN THOUGH…

Cravel's headless body appeared again.

(You atoned for your misstep, knight.)

BUT--

More slain appeared. Villagers from Drektown, hacked apart and frozen in mute horror. Sacerdotem Eden carried off by the massive white dragon. The people feasting and working at the Silver Circle, happy and laughing and working one moment, and then slain the next. The townsfolk of Boremium, dead with one pass of a shadow.

(You did not hold the sword that slew them. But you will hold the sword that will stop their murderers.)

When Addie was about to object, the voice spoke again.

**(You cannot do otherwise. You are a Pennington. You will do what must be done.)**

Addie gritted her teeth, sinking to her knees and pressing her hands against her head as the voice vibrated through her entire being. After a long moment of silence, she eased her hands free.

(Thus you are commanded. Now, go. Execute my will. Work my wonders. And feel at peace knowing that you are my chosen.)

And with that, Addie woke up with a wretched hangover.


	23. Session 36: November 10, 2020 [18 Argon 350]

"They hail from Nostar," Melinora murmured in her ear.

The words didn't register for a moment as Addie watched the translucent hobgoblins.

When they did, she frowned. "Really?"

Melinora took a sip of her wine and gave a small shrug, telling Addie without speaking that she was welcome to believe her or not.

Addie watched the hobgoblins more closely, trying to pick out features.

Before meeting the denizens of Drektown, Addie wouldn't have bothered thinking about hobgoblins other than as enemy combatants to eliminate as quickly as possible. And that kind of callous, short-sighted view of another people was unconscionable.

As much as she wanted to blame Sir Rittermark or her mother for such an unfeeling view of a people she didn't know, she knew that she was the one who decided to accept that as the truth instead of questioning it and setting it aside.

Sir Rittermark and her mother had raised her to believe that her family was honorable, that they were without fault, and that she was unworthy of continuing the legacy, but she was frankly all they had left.

And yet, here she was, eating at a rotting table with her traveling companions, a Knight of the Sword because a man who her mother would've considered "newer blood" saw genuine potential in her to be a credit to the knighthood.

Greymantle hadn't seen that at first. Fellcastle did.

And what did that say about the kind of attitude she'd encounter when she got to Palanthus? When she returned to Castle Pennington? The old blood that she belonged to would see fault in her, but the families who valued merit over legacy would support her?

Was this the kind of attitude her father encountered when he was rising in the ranks of the knighthood? Was this what Brendan saw for himself?

Did Brendan get disgusted with the knighthood and become a mercenary because the people he'd been raised to believe would support him turned on their family?

When the next course came, Addie drank a sip of wine, and lost herself in the headiness. She felt a little heartier, but just a little bit of her wisdom melted away.


	24. Session 37: November 17, 2020 [19 Argon 350]

Given that there was a mist that would kill anything foolish (or unlucky) enough to wander into it, Addie had to admit that talking cat-people and a unicorn that was _not_ a fan of being treated like a horse shouldn't have been that surprising.

It still was, of course. But it shouldn't have been.

At least the unicorn didn't try to spear anyone with his horn.

The rakasta certainly seemed equally as capable of inflicting serious harm (would one get cat scratch fever from a cat-person?), but they were willing to talk first instead of drawing weapons (claws?).

It was the hobgoblins again, but this time, instead of mentally preparing herself for a fight, Addie had panicked and closed the door on them. (It was only fair, as she had been the one to barge in. But still.)

She tentatively told herself that she was making strides.

It was certainly possible that the dog-people would smell the rakasta (rakastas? rakastae?) on them and immediately attack. Addie thought, with a wince, of the whistle they'd been given and how they'd used it first thing. But it was also possible that they were going to attack no matter what they did to try to talk first, so the whistle could've turned out to be a good idea.

(You're borrowing trouble, girl. Knock it off and stay on your toes.)

As much as she hated to admit it, Sir Rittermark's advice was sound. Step one, attempt earnest negotiations to try to reach a peaceful agreement. If step one fails, then consider other options.


	25. Session 38: November 24, 2020 [20 Argon 350]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It would be nice to have a lovely dream while sleeping peacefully.
> 
> It really would.

Addie stared at the white rosebud, the petals open. A fly buzzed by, and the petals snapped shut around it.

She felt like there was some kind of symbolism there. They'd already seen ghosts from before the Cataclysm. The woman with her unicorn companion had recognized her surname as one from Solamnia. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch.

"Sometimes, a sword is just a sword, girl."

Addie startled, turning around quickly to find Rittermark staring at her with his usual amount of disdain and irritation.

"You would do well not to borrow anymore trouble than you need."

"Yes, sir," Addie half-mumbled, glancing at the flowers again.

Rittermark stared at her for a long moment before nodding sharply. "Leave the flowers." He walked down the path, completely ignoring the potential for magical sleep as though it were beneath his notice. He passed under the stone archway without hesitation. For whatever reason, the blood veered away from him.

When Addie just stood there gaping at him, he stopped and turned back. With a simple raise of iron-grey eyebrows, he said, " _Well_?"

Addie jumped, hustling under the archway and inside the throne room, feeling his eyes on her as she ducked her head. She could feel warm blood land in her hair. One drop landed on a pauldron and splashed up onto her cheek.

When she saw the two thrones, the crowd of skeletons frozen in time, she froze too.

"A fine mess of things you made, girl," Rittermark grunted. He walked forward, brushing his hand against the throne the woman had been sitting in. As his hand passed over it, it started to emanate a black energy. At the same time, his hand started to glow with a pale light.

"I was just trying to figure out--"

Rittermark turned to her, his eyebrows raised.

Addie bit her lip. "Maybe she saw something?"

"So you think that you're smarter than a Silvanesti wizardess who has already passed the Test of High Sorcery?"

Addie shook her head. "A different perspective never hurts."

"Which a follower of Sirrion can't provide?"

Addie felt her armor shift as she ducked her head.

"Hmph. Of course, your only use in this situation was to get yourself captured by the enemy and force Lady Brightgleam to waste one of her more powerful spells to rescue you from your own stupidity."

Addie tried to say something, to object further, to try to stand up to him, but she froze again when she saw him turn away from the throne and advance.

There was something wrong with his eyes. They were usually so dark, but now they were getting brighter and brighter. The pupils had turned into glowing points of light that spread across the eyeball, glowing more and more until it was difficult to even look at him.

Holding a hand up to shield her eyes, Addie gritted her teeth. If this wasn't a sign of some evil creature, she wasn't sure what was. She fumbled for the broadsword at her hip.

"I think it's a little too late for that," a woman's voice, high and piercing, erupted from between thin lips. "Don't you?"

(Adrianna.)

Addie stumbled a few steps back in surprise.

The creature with Rittermark's face turned into a black veil and swam over her with lightning speed. One moment, Addie saw the skeleton of a courtier taking a goblet from a tray of food. The next, complete darkness.

There was the hard shove against her chest, the sickening weightlessness of falling in her spine even while there was an absolute absence of sensation. Two points of light, first right in front of her, easy to touch, shot away from her like they were loosed from a bow, rocketing upwards into the darkness until it felt like Addie was at the bottom of a well.

Addie screamed. When she didn't feel her throat burn, didn't hear her scream in her ears or ricocheting in the darkness around her, she screamed again.

The points of light flew further and further away. All around in the darkness, there was a malignant force that surrounded her. If she knew how to breathe, she would be choking.

Was Rittermark right? Did she deserve this?

(No.)

Hands suddenly grabbed at her being, and she was thrown through the void until she smashed into the lights. Sensation smashed into her with the same force -- her back burning, the smell of singed hair and sweat, the weight of her armor.

Unlike what really happened in the throne room, she fell to her knees, grabbing her face, and screamed.

Warm breath brushed across her cheek. As she screamed, tears running down her face, large hands firmly but gently helped her stand up.

When the arms wrapped around her, Addie instinctively tried to break free before realizing that one broad hand was moving up and down across her injured back.

She squeezed her eyes shut, buried her face in the chest in front of her, and cried.

(You've been through much. Rest now, and dream of happier things.)

This time, when the darkness came again, it felt like being wrapped in a warm, soft blanket.


	26. Session 39: December 1, 2020 [21 Argon 350]

The two-handed sword rested in its sheath on the dungeon floor in front of her.

/This, the first week after you accepted me into your ranks and allowed me the chance to serve you, I have.../

Addie paused for a moment, thinking back to all that had happened since their arrival at Castle Amber. There had been creatures that they had killed in order to defend themselves while they tried to figure a way to escape, but her eyes opened again and fell on the sword in front of her.

/I have fought creatures who attacked our party. We defended ourselves when negotiations failed us./

She thought of the aquatic troll at the bridge in the middle of the indoor forest with some pride.

/And I feel as though I should have done more./

Addie sighed.

/The others said he had green skin and hair, which makes me think that he belonged to the natural world. Maybe he was the Fisher King's before his imprisonment here? Or even The Lady of Beast's?/ Addie thought cautiously. /I prayed to the Fisher King that he might accept him into the Happy Hunting Grounds, if such a place is in his purview, but I'm worried that I should've done more./

Addie thought about the image that she had of her father, how his features were always a bit blurry, but he was the model of a strong Knight of the Rose.

/Would my father have been able to free him from his curse without killing him? Would such a thing have been more torture inflicted on a being that had suffered enough?/

Addie sighed again. She was supposed to be praying, not tugging on her god's tunic and asking questions at him like a child.

/I should've asked for his name before accepting his request. I'm sorry that I didn't do so. I will make sure to ask the names of future combatants who've made such a request of me./

Addie suddenly remembered her mother and Sir Rittermark, still in Erehwon, with no news that her father or brothers were even still alive.

/I will also ask the name of one who I can contact with news of their death. It's only right that their family or friend know what happened instead of being left to wonder./

Addie hesitated for a moment before realizing that this was the god of her order that she was praying to. Even if she didn't say it out loud, she needed to be honest with him.

/Ever since I began my training with Sir Rittermark, I wanted to use a two-handed sword. I knew I was strong enough to use it effectively. It was one of the times when being strong wasn't a bad thing./

Addie remembered her mother's heavy sigh when she stepped on the miller's son's foot when she was trying to teach Addie how to dance 'properly'.

/But. Well. I'm guessing you already know what Sir Rittermark said./

"How exactly do you plan on controlling your horse in a melee if you're gleefully hacking at everything in sight?" Dark eyes narrowed. "Kiri-Jolith is a god of righteous warfare, not wanton destruction. Now get that stupid grin off your face before I assist you in removing it."

/...I bet he never learned how to use one./

The flash of insight was one she wasn't sure she would've made before Castle Amber. Of course, it was followed by a sour, /And may all the gods forbid that he admit that he can't do something without getting angry about it./

Addie closed her eyes again and breathed slowly. /Would I be allowed to take up the green giant's sword? To use it in defense of the natural places of the world, and the creatures who inhabit them? Or should I try to return it?/

When her god didn't answer, she sighed.

/Well, at least I can try to do something about that minotaur that's stuck in the cell. Even if he's an enemy of Kiri-Jolith, I can at least ensure that he rests in peace.../


	27. Session 40: December 8, 2020 [23 Argon 350]

When Addie had first entered the long corridor-like room, filled with strange glass cylinders that reached up the ceiling, all she could think of was the one time she had snuck into her eldest brother's bedroom.

Edmund's room had been Off-Limits. Addie couldn't remember the particulars as to why, though in retrospect, it was most likely because he had things bubbling away that would've been dangerous for little hands to interfere with. Still, at the time, it had been Exciting, and she had Wanted to See.

Back in the present time, a face floated up to briefly press against the glass of the vat next to her, making her flinch.

Considering the persistent aura of evil around the entire manor, Addie had a fairly strong sense that however these creatures were being made, it wasn't because of some enterprising tinker gnome who thought mechanical men would make better workers.

In hindsight, the vats springing open shouldn't have surprised her. If something was going to go wrong in Castle Amber, it was going to go wrong whether they wanted it to or not.

And, of course, when Atzca'El yelled for everyone to get behind him, it was fairly standard. No one wants to be in the blast radius of a fireball, but given that Addie wanted to see if she could help weaken the one in front of her -- the overly-large skull would've looked comical, if not for the baleful look in its eyes -- she waved everyone else to go ahead of her.

That, of course, had been a mistake.

The creature's eyes locked onto hers, and then everything was strange and bewildering. She stood motionless, trying to make sense of the world around her when it turned from vats and stone and her companions into lines and planes and curves and odd shapes that refused to put themselves together in a way that made sense.

And then the world erupted into fire.

To be fair, this wasn't new.

Atzca'El directed his god-given flames to best advantage while keeping his companions out of the line of fire, sort to speak.

Each time that Addie had gotten burned, she had known going in it would happen. Atzca'El was always careful when directing Sirrion's flames, but he couldn't force them to bend and twist away from targets in the thick of things.

In a moment of Atzca'El-like logic, Addie had accepted early on that getting angry at fire for behaving like fire normally did was counter-productive.

As one of the innkeepers had said back in Erehwon, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

But the previous times Addie had gotten cooked -- once in the ruined baths of Pistoria, again with another slime-like creature in the indoor forest of Castle Amber -- the fire had been intense, but brief.

This one, if any deity would forgive her the pun, was a slow burn.

She had heard Atzca'El's warning -- calm, clear, concise -- and then nothing had happened. There was no explosion, no roar as flames lanced around cylindrical vats, no seared flesh.

Then her feet felt oddly sweaty.

She looked down, and saw that there were flames rising from the stone floor. As she stared, mesmerized by the too-bright pale flames, they climbed up her legs. It all looked very pretty until they found the gaps in her armor, and then her skin was on fire.

Everywhere she looked -- the golem with the overly-large skull, the opened vats, the walls, the floor -- fire had taken over. She watched, her eyes wide, as the golems blackened and charred before falling into ashen heaps. When she gasped at the sight, her lungs burned.

Staring at the fire, she had the dim thought that she should find Atzca'El -- he'd said to stand behind him, she should do that. But with everything on fire, to the point where vats were melting and buckling under the heat, she didn't know where to walk.

She picked a direction and tried her best to move.

And then Atzca'El emerged from the flames.

He was as calm as he ever was, his armor glittering against his scales, his mace at his side. He reached out with one clawed hand, his alligator-shaped head staring straight at her.

He took her arm firmly -- not enough to be punishing but definitely enough to ensure she didn't resist -- and dragged her from the fire.

When her confusion finally cleared, she coughed a tiny black cloud and looked sheepishly at Atzca'El. "Sorry about that. I was expecting a fireball. Just a quick sort of--" She held her hands together as though holding a ball, and then jerked them apart.

"That's why I said to get behind me," Atzca'El said simply.

"Good point." Addie coughed again. "Lesson learned. Promise."

Atzca'El's expression said that it was her choice whether or not she learned. And to be fair, it was.

A few hours later, when she was staring at the creature hovering over the man on the table, Addie wondered if Atzca'El would use the stronger spell again. It was quite powerful, after all.

But he might need her to keep the creature pinned down, so that the fire would be effective against it.

While she prayed, Addie hoped that Sirrion's flames would be a little more merciful.


	28. Session 41: December 15, 2020 [24 Argon 350]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you're put to sleep magically, and you have a weird-ass dream.
> 
> And sometimes _that_ dream is super weird.
> 
> So, having a dream to process the dream that you just had is... dream-ception? Do you need to sleep after you were magically put to sleep? Do you get a sleep hangover?

Addie found herself frowning at the corpse made of vines and stone.

MASTER? she asked tentatively. If he wasn't available to speak with her, she didn't want to bother him.

(Yes?)

IS... I REALIZE THIS MIGHT BE A STUPID QUESTION, BUT IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A PLANT TO BE _EVIL_? I MEAN... IT'S A PLANT?

(Such a question is better asked of my brother,) he offered, his breath brushing the back of her right ear. (But there are ways that all creatures of the world can be twisted, corrupted to evil ends, are there not?)

Addie winced. She really should've thought of that. AH. YEP. SORRY ABOUT BOTHERING YOU.

(Seeking wisdom isn't a fault to correct, Adrianna.)

DOES THIS THING ACTUALLY EXIST? DID YOUR BROTHER CREATE SUCH CREATURES, AND THEY NEED HELP?

(Perhaps I should clarify. Seeking wisdom from the _correct_ source is a good thing.) The warm, deep voice sounded amused.

Addie resisted the urge to facepalm. SORRY. I'LL TRY TO ASK WHEN MY HOLY DAY COMES AGAIN.

(As you see fit.)

In the dream, Cedric cantered up, nostrils flaring as he walked past the corpse to nuzzle at Addie's hand.

HI, BUDDY. Addie petted his nose and hugged him gently around his neck. YOU DID A GOOD JOB, EVEN IF IT WAS JUST A REALLY WEIRD DREAM.

Cedric looked rather pleased with himself, his tail flicking once or twice.

Since it was a dream, Addie figured it was safe to conjure an apple for him. Leaving the horse to quietly munch, she turned her attention to her master behind her. After the first time they had spoken, when she had never been able to catch sight of him, she figured it was easier to just mentally turn her attention to him rather than get frustrated that she couldn't see him for herself.

I KNOW THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FREEING CASTLE AMBER FROM THE GREY MIST SO THAT WE CAN CONTINUE ON OUR WAY, BUT... IS CEDRIC ALL RIGHT? Addie turned her attention to the saddle on Cedric's back, making sure it wasn't chafing him. She knew she was asleep, and that this wasn't really Cedric, but it helped her feel less like a jerk for leaving him unattended.

(Adrianna, I cannot always provide the answers you seek when you are lost or doubting.)

Addie winced. SORRY.

(I have been free with information to this point. You are progressing as a knight, as you should. One thing you must learn is to have faith in yourself and Cedric.)

I UNDERSTAND, MASTER, she began. IF I HAD LEFT CEDRIC IN A CLEARING WITH A WATER SOURCE NEARBY, I WOULDN'T BE AS WORRIED, BUT THIS PLACE... I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF THE MANOR'S INHABITANTS WOULD WANT TO HURT THE HORSES.

(Then may I suggest a bit of logical reasoning?)

Addie frowned again. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

(As you and your companions travel through this manor, an shell of amber rises up in order to protect you. It allows you to rest, regain your strength -- physical and otherwise -- and heal from your injuries.)

I DIDN'T REALIZE WHAT COLOR IT WAS, MASTER.

There was a very definite eyebrow raised in the silence that followed.

SORRY, MASTER.

(The point being, someone or something must be creating the barrier to protect you all. It isn't one of your companions because you have not seen any of them display such a power.)

ATZCA'EL WAS ABLE TO SUMMON A WALL OF FIRE A FEW ROOMS AGO.

(The magical field also allows you and your companions to learn and grow from your experiences, and to benefit from that experience. Atzca'El, of course, shows that growth with the strength of his flames. Otherwise, such a trek through Castle Amber would appear fruitless on its face.)

HAVE I BEEN GROWING, MASTER?

(You spent a great deal of time under my brother's watch. You must meet that time in order to fully grow. You have the abilities I have granted you. You will continue to gain more in time. Or do I need to remind you that you are my knight?)

Addie blushed. NO, MASTER. THANK YOU, MASTER.

(If you need any further proof of your growth, look at this.)

The scene changed around her until they were standing in the abomination's laboratory. She could walk through the scene as though she were surrounded by illusions or even magical duplicates. There were Malachite and TikTik, standing together near the door. Malachite's arm was tensed, ready to throw his axe. TikTik was loading a sling bullet into his hoopak.

Addie turned to see herself, Skammous, and Atzca'El surrounding the creature, weapons raised. The light of confusion was gone from their eyes, and her doppleganger was raising the two-handed sword, her teeth bared.

Across the room, Melinora's hands were raised, her mouth open in mid-word.

(Now, watch.)

As though time had suddenly started, the creature's muscles bunched, its eyes fixed on Melinora. Melinora's arms started moving, her fingers flexing and tracing invisible sigils in the air as she spoke.

The creature darted forward, a claw raised as it ran past the trio.

Addie's double let out a frustrated shout, and there-- she could see it. She remembered lowering the blade in order to get the momentum to swing, and being startled by the creature moving away from her.

MASTER--

And now, standing outside of herself, staring helplessly, she saw her double's arms bunch, the blade lift upwards.

The claw that had been poised to strike lanced out.

The two-handed sword slammed upwards. Addie's swing followed through, lifting the blade up and behind in an arc of blood. The claw flew away, slamming onto a table with some glass bottles that broke when they smashed onto the floor.

Addie stared at the scene.

Then, just as Melinora turned invisible, the creature's tentacles lashed out, grabbed her. And then the creature turned invisible.

Her double gritted her teeth, her face flushing as she advanced. She knew where it was. The bastard wasn't going to get away.

Addie raised the two-handed sword again and slammed down, her grip jarring as the blade made contact with unearthly flesh.

"It's here!" she screamed.

Addie watched a spray of blood emerge from the invisible creature. A few moments later, Malachite's axe flew across the room, slamming into the creature, slamming _through_ the creature, and then slamming into the creature again as it returned to his hand.

Addie stared as the corpse landed on the ground with a wet splat, and Atzca'El hurried over to tend to Melinora's wounds. I SHOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO FINISH THE CREATURE.

There was a long sigh from behind her. (And yet, I am unsurprised. Malachite has been there to consistently help you slay creatures, Adrianna. This is nothing new.)

BUT I THOUGHT--

(Your ability, or lack thereof, to slay creatures single-handed is not a failing.)

BUT... The scene changed before them again and again.

The ghouls near the three-sided ruins, slashing at her, slashing at Cedric. The paralysis that overtook her when they made contact.

The pale-skinned ogre who served the priest of Hiddukel, grinning at her in a way that made her skin crawl. The paralysis that overtook her again as the priest of Hiddukel cast a spell on her to keep her in place.

The hill giant, run through with her lance, but still standing and ready to swing.

The darker-skinned giant, swinging a longsword at her as she slipped in her own blood and tried to maneuver the two-handed sword. Nearby, Atzca'El and Skammous stood ready with healing spells.

The unearthly abomination, carrying the unconscious Melinora in its tentacles, at death's door, but still able to act.

(ENOUGH.)

The corpse stopped where it was, its eyes rolling back in its head, and slumped to the ground again, releasing Melinora.

(Melinora is alive because you helped slay this creature. Your companions are alive because you can stand between them and the creatures that mean them harm.)

Addie bit her lip. YES, MASTER.

(Your desire to defeat evil and protect the defenseless is honorable and worthwhile. Your desire for personal glory is childish and foolhardy. You are wise enough to know which I will reward.)

Part of her wanted to object, but trying to lie to her master, to say that she didn't want to be the one to save the day and have the others marvel over her combat prowess, seemed like a really stupid idea. YES, MASTER. I'M SORRY.

(Good. Rest now, and be at peace. Continue to fight in my name, and work my will.)


	29. Session 42 Narrative Recap - December 22, 2020 [25 Argon 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a bit of explanation about this one.
> 
> You know how sometimes a player has to leave a table early because there's an emergency, or they needed to go to bed super early because they needed to get up at, like, 3am in order to get to work on time for an early thing?
> 
> That happened with the guy who plays Atzca'El. Since he ended up missing a chunk of the session after he had to go, I figured it was easier to just write out what he missed in narrative form instead of disjointed notes that help _me_ remember what happened, but might not necessarily make sense to other people.
> 
> This way, the player could read along with what we got accomplished, and it would hopefully be enjoyable too.
> 
> Unfortunately, this cuts off a chunk of what happened earlier in the session because, well, it was intended for the players of the game, and we had already played through that bit.
> 
> I'm posting it here because it's kind of a snapshot of how the game generally plays? There's more dialogue than we actually had, since it was more like butt-kicker commandos going through the place, but it's a story. If people aren't talking, it's a bit weird.
> 
> Also, this was the session just before Christmas in 2020, so we ended up getting our characters ended up getting Christmas presents despite the fact that Argon is the equivalent of July in the DragonLance setting. That was really neat, and I included that in the recap, even though we didn't roleplay that out.
> 
> (Addie got a pair of magical gauntlets that gives her a +1 to attack and damage, -1 to saves, and automatically gives her proficiency in any weapon she wields. It's really nice.)

Atzca'El surfaced from his second prayer and turned back to the rest of the party. "Sirrion calls me. I will return shortly."

With that, he turned and walked some distance away and walked around a corner.

The others watched him go, and then Skammous nodded firmly. "Now that the danger's passed, let's check out that pit."

The five of them circled the pit, staring at the webs that Melinora had cast just before the wall of fire had blazed into existence.

Melinora closed her eyes and made a sharp, impatient gesture at the webs. She opened her eyes, and then frowned. "It appears I can't cease the effect myself. I'll remember this for next time."

"Well, there's more than one way to skin a cat." Malachite shrugged and lit a torch. With a light toss, it landed in the thickest part of the sticky webbing. The flames licked along the strands before the torch finally sputtered out and dropped down the pit to clatter on a hard surface below.

"Any idea how far that was?" Addie held her two-handed sword over the pit, its light emanating just far enough to show the bottom, and revealing a metal ladder, pitted with age, that was bolted into one side of the pit.

"The only way to find out is to look," Skammous said before readjusting his pack and scaling down the ladder.

"Oh, hey--" Addie said quickly, sheathing the sword on her back and finding the ladder by feeling before descending with him. "I'm the meat shield, remember?"   
  
"You realize you have more use than that, don't you?" Skammous's voice drifted up to her. "Don't go too quickly. I haven't reached the bottom yet."

Addie paused, waiting until she heard the dwarf's metal boots land on the solid bottom of the pit. "What do you see?"

"A chest," Skammous answered simply. "It's longer than usual, but I'll see why in a moment." There was the soft murmur of a prayer, and then the sound of a catch springing open. "Ahhhh. This is a fine piece, even if it isn't an axe."

Addie frowned down into the darkness. There were times when she wished she could see in the dark like the others. "What is it?"

"A spear to add to your arsenal." Skammous made an approving hum. "I'll pass it up to you."

Addie reached out and felt the shaft pressed into her palm.

"Hey, doorknob!" Skammous shouted suddenly.

Addie jumped, and then tried to figure out if he'd really said the word 'doorknob', and who he was referring to. "Um, who's the doorknob?" she asked tentatively.

"The one with the bag?" Skammous offered impatiently.

"Um, TikTik?" Addie called up. "Could you come down here, please?"

"Sure thing!" TikTik piped up from above. There were a few sounds of the kender hopping onto the ladder, and then, "Um, Addie? I can't--"

"Oh, sorry-- Here, let me--" Addie made her way to the bottom of the pit, and then stood aside.

"Yeah, thanks!" TikTik finished heading down, and turned to Skammous. "What's up, buddy?"

"Just this!" Skammous made a quick motion to the chest.

And then the chest snapped open, and started hopping madly at the kender, the lid flapping open and shut as it did.

TikTik screamed, nearly dropping his hoopak. After a mad dash around the bottom of the pit (which wasn't a lot of room to begin with, and had even less with a fully-armored human and dwarf taking up space), the kender made one desperate leap behind Addie, his green eyes huge as the chest chomped after him.

"What the--" Addie drew her two-handed sword, and TikTik brandished his hoopak frantically.

Skammous suddenly burst into laughter as the two-handed sword blazed into light, revealing two panicked companions staring at the animated chest. "Stop, stop! It's fine!"

He held up a hand to the chest, which seemed to subside and settle itself back on the ground, the lid popping open one last time to reveal the coins inside.

"It's fine, see?" Skammous said. "It was just me."

Malachite, from the edge of the pit, burst into laughter. Melinora's lip curled into an amused smirk.

Addie and TikTik stared at the chest, expecting it to come back to life, and then both breathed a sigh of relief when nothing else happened.

"Come, let's collect the coin and then get out of here," Skammous suggested. "I think there's nothing else for us down here."

"Are you sure?" TikTik asked, looking around the walls of the pit with interest. "I mean, there could be hidden shinies down here!"

Addie picked up the bag from TikTik's grip and rested the lip of it against the inside of the chest before using her hands to shovel the coins in with long, sweeping passes.

Skammous snorted. "I'm sure. It's obvious that this used to lead somewhere--" He motioned to a portion of the wall which, at first glance, looked like the rest of the pit, but upon closer inspection seemed to be bricks that were the same color as the rest of the walls.

"Oh, wow!" TikTik said, reaching forward a small hand to touch them.

"Leave it," Skammous said firmly. "If someone bricked this up, there was likely a good reason for it."

"I, for one, wouldn't like to see what these creatures might've been guarding," Melinora's voice drifted down to them. "Best to leave it be, TikTik."

TikTik pouted. "Maybe there's something else around here!" He set himself to looking around, dropping to his hands and knees and poking and prodding at the rough-hewn stone while Addie worked.

When Addie was done, she righted herself and dusted off her greaves. "Find anything?"

"Nope," TikTik said, sounding disappointed. "But maybe we'll find something shiny somewhere else!"

"That's the spirit, TikTik." Addie nodded, hoisting the bag of holding over her shoulder and motioning to the ladder. "After you?"

They reached the top of the ladder to find Skammous and Malachite checking over their weapons and armor, and Melinora reading over the note they had found in the storage area a few rooms ago.

"Another room down," Skammous said, dusting off his hands with an air of satisfaction. "At this rate, we should be able to finish clearing this area before that amber shell rises again. Let's keep searching."

"Where to?" Addie started to ask.

Skammous headed to a door leading to the southwestern-most room. It was the same kind of construction as all the other doors in the room of rooms -- thick wood with metal bands reinforcing it -- and lowered his head in prayer. Touching the holy symbol around his neck, he lifted his head and nodded again.

And then he pushed open the door.

Inside the room, there was a ten-foot by ten-foot silver gate set against the southern wall with three visible keyholes. In front of it stood an amber lion.

"Hey, Skammous, do you see any new shinies?" TikTik piped up, looking around Skammous's armor to peer inside.

"It appears to be the way out of here," Melinora said. It was only because the others had been traveling with her for so long that they heard the note of relief in her voice.

Malachite and Addie exchanged a glance.

Skammous reached out and closed the door.

"Um, Skammous?" Addie offered.

Skammous shot her a look. "I say we find the library."

The rest of the party blinked at him in various stages of surprise.

"Ordinarily, I would be in favor of going to the library," Melinora began, "but if we have a way out of here..."

"Yeah!" TikTik agreed. "We don't have to be in this scary place anymore, and we can find new shinies and have new adventures!"

Skammous shook his head. "It's good that we know the way out, but we have to track down four different magical items in order to break the curse. The library seems the best place to find information."

Addie eyed the door wistfully. She thought that maybe they could find information on the other side of the gate, but Skammous's argument made sense.

"I say that we investigate the rest of these rooms--" Skammous motioned down the hallway, indicating the last two rooms they'd yet to explore. "And then make our way to the library. Thoughts?"

Melinora shook her head. "I was reviewing the note that we found in the central room. According to the author, we should be able to find all four magic items in Averoigne, which I'm assuming is where the silver gate leads. Journeying to the library is likely to be costly in terms of time and valuable resources. And…" She aimed a wary look at the room around her before shivering. "I would prefer to be gone from this place sooner rather than later, if at all possible."

Skammous shook his head. "All the more reason to find the library. There could be more information there about these magic items -- what they look like, information about the names on the paper. Any advantage that we can get in finding these items all the faster can only help us."

The others shared looks and made various nods of agreement, Melinora and TikTik looking more reluctant than Addie and Malachite.

"All right, then," Skammous announced, adjusting his grip on his hammer and moving forward. "This looks as good a place to start." He marched to the nearest door. He examined it carefully, murmured a prayer under his breath, and then waited.

He nodded, and then opened the door.

And immediately closed it again.

"What?" Addie asked. "What's wrong?"

"Those are dogs."

Loud barking, muffled by the apparent thickness of the door, bore this out.

Skammous pointed at Malachite. "As the resident expert on nature, you're up."

The door shook as weight landed on it, and more barking sounded.

"But if they're dogs, then why not just make friends with them?" TikTik asked, reaching up to give Doggo scritches behind his ears. "Maybe Doggo would like to have new friends."

Doggo jumped in the kender's arms, looking at the rattling door with large brown eyes that said his master was more than welcome to make friends with whoever was barking, but _he_ was sensibly going to stay right here, thank you.

Malachite shrugged and headed for the door. When he opened it, he took one look, and closed it again.

A moment later, the door rattled again as more weight landed on it.

"We need to brace the door," Malachite said firmly.

Addie blinked. "Uh, we don't really have anything to brace it with?" She thought quickly. "Maybe the shelves from this room--" She pointed at the door opposite the ones where the dogs...? were trying to escape.

"Those dogs are the size of ponies," Skammous said firmly. "Let's not borrow trouble."

"I am very much in favor of leaving the door closed," Melinora agreed.

The five of them stood in the corridor, watching the door as it rattled and banged, the dogs on the other side still barking. When the door didn't immediately burst into splinters, leaving them with pony-sized dogs to contend with, they shared an uneasy look.

"Onward," Skammous announced, heading for the door in sight that led to the long, narrow room they had yet to explore. Standing in front of the door, he repeated his prayer under his breath and then opened the door.

Instead of immediately closing it, he stared into the room.

"What?" TikTik demanded, bouncing forward and dodging around Skammous's thick metal armor to peer inside. "What is it?"

This room seemed to have a gigantic pile of treasure at least ten feet high and forty feet long. Instead of piles they had seen in other rooms, this seemed to be comprised of mostly copper and silver pieces, but there was the glitter of gold here and there, like small points of light in the glow of Addie's two-handed sword.

Melinora considered the room before lifting a hand in an almost impatient motion.

A gentle breeze passed through the group as an unseen servant drifted into the room. Coins clinked and pinged down the pile onto what bare floor there was, revealing where the servant was traveling.

Melinora held up her hand and made a slow, circling motion with her wrist.

As the five of them watched, more and more coins spilled down the sides of the top of the pile until suddenly, it stopped.

A small line formed between Melinora's eyebrows as she tried the motion again.

Nothing happened.

"Um, is it supposed to do that?" TikTik looked up at Melinora before looking back at where the coins had been jostled out of place.

"No." A faint hint of irritation colored Melinora's tone. "It's not." She held out her hand, elegant fingers beckoning the unseen servant back to her.

Again, nothing happened.

"Well, that's not good," Malachite said.

"Indeed," Melinora agreed with a sigh. "We should leave this room be as well. Anything that can stop my servant in its tracks is not something I want to contend with."

"Silver and copper aren't really going to be that useful to us anyway," Malachite agreed.

Addie frowned. "But wouldn't it travel better than all the gold we've been finding? It's not going to convert to a lot of steel--"

"Then why bother?" Malachite shrugged.

Skammous shook his head. "Don't chicken out now, Melinora. We need to investigate all of these rooms. There could be something hidden in all of this that we can use."

"But didn't we just skip the room with the pony-sized dogs?" Addie offered, pointing over her shoulder.

"The room itself seemed to be a kennel for those dogs. Also, there were four of those things," Skammous said with a snort. "No further investigation was needed."

"Well, if you're going in there, I'm coming with you," Addie said.

"And I am staying right here," Melinora announced. "This isn't going to end well."

Malachite nodded. "I can stay here and cover you." He hefted his hurling axe. "What do you think, TikTik?"

TikTik's usually smiling face turned into a frown. "Now that I'm a little bit wiser, I think I'm going to stay here too." He bit his lip. "I mean, there's shinies there, but I think Melinora's right."

Skammous and Addie shared a look and walked in.

Nothing immediately happened as they did so, but as Skammous's booted feet crunched along the edges of the pile, Addie kept an eye on the room, raising the glowing two-handed sword higher in order to provide a more even light across the pile. There were still shadows to contend with, but Skammous was unbothered by them.

Skammous swept the flat of his hammer through the pile, staying on the edges, when his arm stopped in mid-swing.

The dwarf frowned at his hammer, and tried to pull it free.

"What's going on?" Addie called.

"It's stuck," Skammous said impatiently, because it was fairly obvious. He adjusted his grip and pulled harder on the haft.

The pile of treasure shifted. And then it moved.

"Uh oh!" TikTik said with wide eyes.

Malachite readied his axe. Addie started to run forward. Skammous tried to pull his hammer free. Melinora lifted her hands to cast a spell. TikTik shoved a hand into his pocket to grab one of his sling bullets.

There was a soft breeze, and then the now-familiar glowing edges of an amber-colored shell shimmered to life on the floor.

"My hammer!" Skammous shouted, trying in vain to pull it free. The shell rose _through_ the haft, the head still stuck in the pile of treasure, but the wooden handle clear of the magical field. The weapon appeared to be otherwise unaffected by what had just happened to it.

The shell rose with deceptive speed until the five of them were enclosed, coloring the world in amber and making the world around them cozy and warm.

Well, ordinarily it would.

Inside of the shell, there were beautiful lights of different colors, as though a dozen kender who could cast the Dancing Lights spell had decided that the shell wasn't pretty enough.

As the five of them looked around to see where they might have come from, they were confronted with a giant tree that brushed the very top of the amber dome.

"What the--" Addie began with a confused frown.

"Huh," Malachite said. "What's a pine tree doing here?"

"And what's with all these strange decorations?" Melinora said, keeping well away from the odd sight and wishing that her unseen servant could safely investigate it.

"It's so pretty!" TikTik bounded forward. "And look! Look look look!" He ran for the base of the tree and picked up a box. "It has my name on it!"

Skammous shot a disgruntled look at his embedded hammer, and made his way over to the others, who were gingerly approaching the odd tree. "For someone who was just extolling how wise he had become, picking up something with your name on it seems like a foolish thing to do."

"I wasn't the only one, though!" TikTik objected. "Look! Everyone got one!"

There were boxes of different sizes, and sure enough, each of them sported a smallish tag with one person's name written in an ornate script.

"Ooh, there's even one for Atzca'El!" TikTik added. "It's got pretty flames on the sides and everything!"

"Then maybe you should leave it for him to pick up," Malachite suggested, looking over the presents until he found a box wrapped in sky-blue paper with the symbol of Habbakuk carefully drawn on the sides. He hesitated for a moment before picking up the box carefully and examining it.

Addie frowned at the boxes. "Would the castle's curse really go to the trouble of trying to kill us like this?" She waved a hand at the boxes. "It seems a bit... extravagant?"

"What better way to ensure that we'll take the bait?" Skammous pointed out. He stopped a few feet away from the pile, his eyes immediately zeroing in on a slate grey box with his name printed in precise dwarven runes on the side.

Melinora, despite her better judgment, edged closer to the tree and the pile of boxes. One of them was the same color as her robes, and the symbol on the side was the symbol of her noble house. She didn't really have much of an attachment to it other than what privileges it afforded her, but there had been the slightest pang in her heart to see it so visibly displayed.

TikTik gasped. "Wait! It's like Yule! Only, instead of a Yule log, we get a pretty tree and fancy lights!" His expression fell slightly. "Only, I don't have any presents for you guys. We keep finding stuff as we go along, and I've got a _lot_ of shinies, but--"

"It's too early for Yule, isn't it?" Addie cut in before remembering herself. "Um, sorry. But aren't we still in Argon? Yule isn't until Phoenix..."

"Hey, if we get to celebrate Yule twice in one year, I'm certainly not going to complain!" TikTik said, looking around the pile. "Oh, that's funny."

"What?" Addie asked.

"Your present doesn't have any colors on it," TikTik replied, looking down at the box. "Just a bunch of lines on it. Why does it look like that?"

Addie bit her lower lip, unexpectedly touched by the gesture. "Because I can't see color. The way that the lines are drawn tells me what color should be represented. It's how I learned heraldry."

TikTik's eyes widened. "Oh, wow! I didn't know that!"

Addie picked up the box, and breathed in slowly. Two of the sides showed the heraldry for her father's and mother's houses. The other two sides showed the symbols for the Knights of the Crown and the Knights of the Sword.

The very top had the heraldry for the Knights of the Rose.

"We should open them right away!" TikTik said, one hand straying to the top of his box, a brilliantly festive box with a riot of colors and shiny bits of paper glued to it.

"What about Atzca'El?" Addie asked. "He's not with us. We should wait until he has a chance to open his too."


	30. Session 42: December 22, 2020 [25 Argon 350]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are useful for processing what has happened.
> 
> As long as you're learning the right lessons.

The terrible thing was, Addie knew that she was asleep. The heavy breathing was loud in her ears, the warmth of it brushing against her neck. Everywhere around her was black.

MASTER?

The world filled itself in. Masonry rose up around her, grey and featureless like the rest of Castle Amber. A door appeared and then opened, revealing Atzca'El's tall silhouette. Addie turned around and saw the six ghouls, their eyes glittering in the glow of her double's sword in the hallway.

I COULDN'T TURN THEM, MASTER. I WAS SO SURE--

(Enough.)

Addie fell silent, miserably watching the scene unfold in front of her. She winced as she watched herself stride forward confidently (stupid, stupid)

\--take the giant's two-handed sword in her grip (don't insult the gods-- always use a holy symbol)

\--and raise it up, gritting her teeth.

Addie could see the moment of panic in her past self's eyes, the sword's blade wavering ever so slightly in the air.

And then the creatures sprinting forward, the sickly sweet stench filling her nostrils.

There was a soft snort behind her, and the tableau froze in front of her.

(Where did you fail?)

It was Rittermark's lessons all over again. It was never one mistake, but several--

(Where. Did. You. Fail?)

The tableau seemed to move backwards now, the creatures hopping backwards, Addie pulling the two-handed sword toward her as if to protect it, her sure steps moving backwards until she was behind the doorway, standing near Atzca'El.

Just as before, it began again. Her past self flinching back.

THERE, Addie said, her voice oddly soft. I DISPLAYED COWARDICE IN THE FACE OF THE ENEMY.

The snort was heavier this time, filled with skepticism. (Courage is not the absence of fear--)

\--IT'S BEING AFRAID AND STILL STEPPING FORWARD. Addie finished without thinking. When she realized what happened, she winced. SORRY.

The Addie in front of her stepped forward again, bearing her teeth. "I don't have to be afraid of you anymore," she growled before taking the hilt in both hands. "Kiri-Jolith--"

THERE. I... I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

(This is not arcane magic, Adrianna. There is no exact formula that you must speak perfectly each time. Each prayer is different, because of circumstances.)

The voice hardened. (But you are correct that this is the moment where you failed.)

HOW DID I FAIL YOU, MASTER?

Silence.

Addie found herself staring at her past self, even if it was a few hours old. She looked like she had put her foot down badly, that she was going to overturn at any moment. Her eyes had the look that Cedric's had when he was about to bolt.

Addie hadn't realized she had moved closer to the frozen statue of herself until it started moving again. She stumbled over her words, she instinctively leaned away from the creatures in order to protect herself.

(Why do you doubt me?)

The question was so strange that Addie tried to look behind her. MASTER?

(You heard me, Adrianna.) The voice came from behind her again.

I-- YOU'RE THE SWORD OF JUSTICE. YOU'RE THE GOD OF THE ORDER I SERVE-- I WOULD NEVER--

(ENOUGH.)

Addie watched the wall of fire erupt behind the ghouls, filling the room with choking smoke and ash. She felt the flames licking her face.

The ghouls damn near flew across the room, sprinting as though they weighed nothing. Their blackened claws landed blows. It was the last blow -- a simple graze, really, in the grand scheme of things -- that brought on the sickeningly-familiar sensation of paralysis.

The watching Addie's limbs locked up at the same time.

Addie tried to scream. The only thing that came out was a faint wheeze.

(WHY DO YOU DOUBT ME.)

I...

Her breath was thin and reedy in her own ears, drowning out everything else. Her heart slammed in her chest in panic.

Didn't he already know? Couldn't he look into her soul and understand her on a level that even she had trouble reaching?

(YOUR WORDS ARE NOT FOR MY BENEFIT, KNIGHT. SPEAK.)

Addie, crumpled on the flagstone floor, gasping for air, heart pounding her chest, felt like an insect squirming on the ground.

The past version of herself slowly moved, flexing different muscles and working out the paralysis in slow, easy stages. And then she glared down at Addie on the ground, raising her two-handed sword point-down.

Her own face morphed into Rittermark, who could manage so much contempt and disgust in a single look.

When she spoke, her throat couldn't manage more than a whisper, but the words screamed across the room, slamming into masonry until the world broke apart.

_I'm waiting for you to hate me, too._

Addie's eyes snapped open. She could feel her face was wet, but when she tried to wipe away her tears, she discovered she couldn't move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry about Addie. She keeps suffering from sleep paralysis when she wakes up unexpectedly.
> 
> Considering that she has the Light Sleeper advantage, where she can wake up and act quickly, it's interesting to play with that.


	31. Session 44: January 12, 2021 [27 Argon 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of the posting of this entry, this is the first mention of Bathia Pennington! As part of the module that we're playing in, we were transported to another land. And the DM has decided that we've also teleported to the year of the Cataclysm before the calamity hit.
> 
> And apparently, in the area, a Pennington was there, doing good and being awesome.
> 
> Bathia Pennington is a Rose Knight, and Addie basically looks like a clone of her, but about ten years younger.
> 
> Yeah.

"There's something wrong."

Addie blinked up at Bathia, who was standing over her. "There is?"

Bathia nodded, pointing her thumb off into the darkness to her right. "Time to go to work."

Addie "Work? But--"

Addie snapped awake, looking up at Malachite. There were heavy footsteps, a thrashing sound, and then ogres.

She'd been trained to wake up the moment something made a loud noise or so much as brushed against her skin. Adrenaline and panic -- the off-white skin, the dark eyes, the too-bright irises, that _grin_ \-- surged through her as she got to her feet.

But instead of Sir Rittermark snapping at her impatiently while she fumbled with her sword before bringing it to bear, she heard Bathia again.

"Okay, that's good." There was a grin in Bathia's voice. "Sword up, swing on my mark!"

Addie felt a surge of... giddiness? as she got to her feet, the two-handed sword of sharpness in her hands.

"In three, two, one-- now."

Addie swung the blade back, using the weight to gain momentum. As the ogre sprinted at her, the blade connected--

And slammed into the meaty shoulder joint with a jarring impact.

Snarling fury and hunger immediately wilted away into panic as the blade carved into flesh, curving towards the center of its chest. The eyes widened, and went glassy just as Addie lifted up a foot and kicked off the corpse.

"Momentum at the ready!" Bathia shouted.

Addie swung the sword again, building up speed.

"Swing on my mark!" came the next instruction. "Mark!"

The blade came down again, and while this ogre had shied away from it, it wasn't fast enough to move it's right leg in time. The dirty limb came off in another shower of blood, and while the ogre tried to claw at her, its eyes went glassy as more dark blood pumped out of the wound.

"He's down, he's down!" Bathia said quickly. "Momentum!"

Addie brought the sword up again.

"Get eyes on the others!" Bathia shouted. "Look for the grey robes! Is she up?"

Melinora-- Addie looked around quickly, and dove forward to intercept the ogre that was too close for comfort.

"On my mark!" Bathia shouted again, her voice sounding like the ring of steel against steel. "Too soon-- No kill, no kill! Shrug it off!"

The sword slammed into the ogre, but it didn't drop like the others had. Addie cursed. Another ogre refused to go down. And then the heavy booms of footsteps shook the ground.

Bathia's gauntlets clapped together quickly, sounding like weapon impacts. "Malachite's still going! Let him play clean up!"

Addie turned to the arriving hill giants, staring up at them and wishing she had thought to get her lance ready.

"Risk big, take a limb!" Bathia shouted in her mind. "Switch it up! The Trent seawall stops the tide!"

Addie hesitated for a moment when she swung, not trusting herself. The hill giant wobbled, but didn't crash to the ground. Too deep in her own thoughts, she let it run.

Minutes later, when they were digging through the corpses and disposing of them, Addie stopped mid-prayer to Kiri-Jolith.

Bathia hadn't been there. She was on the road to the south, headed for Ximes, and hopefully from there to Perigon.

And yet, she hadn't been yelling at herself. Bathia would treat her like a fellow soldier, not pounce on her ineffectiveness. She'd killed two of the ogres outright, even. Her only fault had been not listening to herself, her instincts, on when to swing. For the first time, during a fight, the two-handed sword hadn't been a borrowed weapon that she didn't know how to wield. It had become a tool, and an incredibly deadly one at that. It had taken off a tentacle from the demonic creature before, but this time, there were two ogres that had died the moment Addie swung. That was new.

It was always going to be slow, and she would always need to get momentum going for it to really slam down and cause the kind of damage it was capable of inflicting. But, she wasn't some imposter anymore. She wasn't a little girl playing at fighting.

If they ended up crossing paths with Bathia again, Addie was going to have to thank her. Even if it wouldn't make sense to her ancestor, her presence helped a lot more than even Addie had realized.

Finally, when they had all healed and rested until morning, Addie fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	32. Session 45: January 19, 2021 [29 Argon 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad editing strikes! There's a chunk at the end that I ended up tacking on instead of blending it better in Addie's prayers to her god.

The prayers to the Fisher King -- okay, Addie had to be honest. She _gushed_. She was _gushing_. But, in her defense, she couldn't help it. She was just so relieved to be out of Castle Amber.

Everything had been strange and creepy and--

The faster she could put behind her the bouts of paralysis, the possession by the evil wizardess, the overwhelming doubt, the better.

The prayers to the Sword of Justice were more staid and proper. Thanking him for lending her the strength to defeat the combatants she encountered, apologizing for her missteps.

(She asked, as quietly as she could while praying, if the voice of encouragement that had sounded so much like Bathia's had really been his, if he had forgiven her for her moment of weakness with the horrendously foul-smelling ghouls.)

With one last apology for her weakness, and a vow to do better so she might be worthy in his eyes, she began her third hour of prayers.

Great Dragonlord, she began silently to herself before she stopped.

Did I do the right thing?

Gathering information before battle is important. It can mean the difference between victory and defeat. I know this, but…

Addie opened her eyes when she heard TikTik rummaging through his bag of holding. Somewhere nearby, she knew Melinora was invisibly aloft on her broom.

They had been… wearing down in Castle Amber. TikTik had jumped a few times. The longer they had been in there, the more it seemed like Melinora was having nightmares. A good military leader keeps an eye on the welfare of his men.

But I was really worried.

Even Malachite has shown a renewed sense of vigor since we left Castle Amber.

… and I'm feeling like a weight has fallen off my shoulders too.

It was the right decision, wasn't it?

Did Skammous receive a warning from the Creator to keep traveling? The Cataclysm will be here soon -- I have no interest in going against your will on that score, even if I'm worried about Lady Pennington and her daughter. I know this mission in Kharolis will end in Lady Pennington's death. As much as I want to avert it, to allow her to return home and see her daughter one last time, I'm scared of what that will do.

I've already made so many mistakes since this journey began. I know that making mistakes is inevitable, but it feels like when I make them, everything is that much worse, and it would've been better if I hadn't interfered.

Your son told me clearly what he wanted after my knighting ceremony. He showed me the power he'd entrusted me with. There must always be a Pennington in the knighthood.

I just want to show that the trust your sons have given me hasn't been misplaced.

Thank you, Great Dragonlord, for the gift of your sons. Thank you for your wisdom and guidance.

Thank you for giving me the chance to meet Lady Bathia Pennington. Her presence has helped me a great deal.

… I realize that this might be a bit awkward, but I'm guessing this is possible for you.

In the year 350, could you please watch over my father, Arcturus Pennington, Rightful Keeper of the Lands of Pen-Llarcau, and my brothers, Edmund and Brendan?

Thank you again.

When Addie opened her eyes, she considered the weapons arranged in neat rows in front of her and touched each one reverently, thanking the Sword of Justice for his favor in giving them into her care.

What she didn't realize was that her prayers lasted longer than the three hours.

If there was anything I would ask for, I wish there was a way I could heal others more than just the once? Being able to heal with my hands is a wonderful power, and I can feel a closer connection to you when I do, Sword of Justice.

I just wish I could help more, especially when everyone else gets injured too…

[Addie prays for Cure Light Wounds.]


	33. Session 46: January 26, 2021 [30 Argon 350]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The companions have found the bodies of their two clerics. They've laid them to rest. It should be done.
> 
> Of course, this is Addie we're talking about here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Session 45, two of the characters ended up dying while the party was split up. While we got to see the character deaths at the table, our characters didn't learn about their deaths until Session 46.
> 
> That being said, trigger warning for character death. :(

Addie stared into the flames, watching the pieces of Atzca'El flaring and popping as the scales blackened.

Skammous's internment had been a fairly simple affair -- a stone cairn to return him to Reorx. Atzca'El's return to the flames of his god felt more... final.

TikTik had been more than aware of what happened to the two clerics. And while the image of Skammous and Atzca'El meeting up with Mister Ruff Ruff was laughable, Addie had trouble cracking a smile.

She still had trouble when they were in the middle of prayers (and respectful silence, in Melinora's case) when TikTik emerged from the ruins of the nearby chateau, scrolls and potions nearly falling out of his arms.

It was a relief to check the Swampy Fens off their list of potential hiding places for the werewolf scourge of Sylaire, but it had been a heavy toll.

When she dreamed that night, Rittermark stood in front of her, staring at her with unblinking eyes. And saying nothing.

"What is it?" Addie's mouth moved without her permission. "Come to gloat?"

"And why should I do that, hmm?" Rittermark asked, a nasty smile stretching across his thin lips. "That your traveling companions are dead, and it's all your fault?"

Addie stared back at him, her dream self still numb.

"Considering the fact that the cleric of Reorx felt that his judgment was more powerful than your faith, he got what he deserved." There was an almost unholy glee in his eyes as he continued. "Perhaps Reorx felt the need to summon him back to him for his impertinence."

"It didn't need to happen like that," Addie muttered.

Any trace of amusement dropped like a hot stone. "Oh? And now you presume to tell the gods how they should conduct their affairs?" He pointed over his shoulder, his arm unnaturally steady. "That is what happened the last time a mortal dared make demands of the gods."

Addie didn't need to look at what he was pointing at. Her gaze had strayed to the red comet in the sky every evening now that Lunitari was nearing its new moon phase. "Reorx could've called him home in other ways. A heart attack. Dying in his sleep."

The gauntlet smashing across her face was startling, but not surprising. "I don't like repeating myself, girl. Maybe that will wake you up."

In the waking world, when she was younger, she would've looked down at the ground, apologized for her impertinence, but now, her anger rose again.

"What did Atzca'El do to deserve that fate?" she snapped. "He always pursued a logical course of action. Letting Skammous go off alone was foolish, and he knew it."

"And yet he wasn't powerful enough to protect him or himself when they faced a real threat." He smirked. "It seems to me that if you're going to appoint yourself a protector, you should be able to do the bare minimum."

Addie's face flushed at the dig. "The village elders--"

"They thought you were capable of the job, and they removed you from my tutelage before you were ready," Rittermark snapped. "Or do you think a snivelling child is going to be able to stand up to the forces of darkness and show them what a true Knight of Solamnia is capable of?"

(You've done a great deal, Skammous had told her once. You helped save the hobgoblins of Drektown. That's not nothing.)

Rittermark rolled his eyes. "Paladine preserve what little is left of my sanity after dealing with _you_ ," he muttered. "Do you think that is some kind of noble _deed_ , girl? Do you really think the rest of the world is going to be _overjoyed_ that you saved _hobgoblins_? You've set those refugees up to fail, or to be slaughtered by the first human settlement that doesn't understand they are noncombatants."

"They were innocents, and they deserved help!" Addie shouted, her throat feeling raw. "They converted to the Lightbringer--"

"You know that because you were able to recognize you were outnumbered when you encountered Osark." Rittermark smirked. "They're not always going to be able to take the field on their terms. And, of course, the hostage is both a blow to morale and a source of distraction for their commander."

The blankness around them changed to the deck of General Drek's ship, the white dragon swooping down and grabbing Sacerdotem Eden in his claws and then banking and gaining height, well out of shortbow range.

Rittermark watched with visible detachment, but his eyes narrowed as he considered the scene.

"Even if they were foolhardy enough to get themselves killed, the two clerics were correct. Sacerdotem Eden is a very valuable hostage against the hobgoblins. Doubly so because no one will listen to their limited intelligence. The fact that you were able to stop an initial incursion into Deepwater shows that they're not resting on their laurels."

The scene changed again, revealing the small town of Boremium. The sun was shining, the air was sweet with honeysuckles.

Rittermark impatiently waved a dismissive hand. "The town is a wash. They wouldn't have known to retreat to Erehwon, so they were either killed or enslaved."

"Enslaved?" A small knot of hope beat in Addie's chest.

Rittermark glared at her. "You saw those _things_ for yourself. You remember how long it took to train you. They won't have time for farming. Their best chance is striking hard and fast, using their numbers to their advantage. Or do I need to repeat myself about Deepwater?"

Addie sighed angrily. "Then what are we supposed to do?"

"Do?" Iron-grey eyebrows lifted. "You aren't so stupid that you forgot your _commanding officer's_ orders, are you?"

The scene changed again to the vague impression of a castle, nestled between a fork in a mountain range.

Addie bit her lip, staring at it. "I want to, but..."

The solid earth beneath them changed into swampy mudwater coming up to their knees. Atzca'El's arm rose from the agitated water nearby.

"Girl."

Addie looked up, meeting Rittermark's dark eyes.

"You already prayed for their safe journey to their respective gods. Stop sniveling."

Addie glared at him. "What are we going to do without them?"

Rittermark glared back, his eyes like abyssal pools. "One thing you're not going to do is play around with such an inefficient weapon."

The weight of the two-handed sword disappeared from her back.

"I trained you with a broadsword for a reason."

Pain exploded through her as a sword pommel smashed into the side of her head.

The blade through her abdomen added insult to injury with how clean it ran through her flesh.

Her legs slipped out from under her. She landed on her back with a loud splash.

"And now," Rittermark said with a vicious grin, "I'll _really_ give you something to snivel about."

He rested his hand on her chest, and instead of picking her up like he had when she was smaller, lighter, he pushed down.

The water closed over her face. Then it turned into vines.

And then she woke up.


	34. Session 47: February 2, 2021 [1 Sirrimont 350]

When you put yourself in harm's way deliberately, you're signing up to get your face smashed in a few times.

Or, well, in Addie's case this particular time, her ribs.

It's nothing new -- sometimes she twists instead of turns, and she can feel her ribs give a little. Once or twice, she's felt them crack a bit. It's gotten to the point where she can tell whether they're cracked or bent a bit badly just from the angle of the blow.

Still, that werewolf -- Malachie, Sephora said his name was -- had worked her over pretty good. The fake blood that had appeared on her had been replaced quickly enough with the real thing.

It's nothing new.

When Cedric sees her trudging back to the tower and whinnies loudly, she knows it's a little different.

Cedric pulls on the reins where he's been tied to a hitching post, shooting her a look that's both worried and reproachful. How dare you leave me behind when you're going into battle, he seems to be telling her. We're supposed to be in this together.

Addie reaches him a bit slower than she normally would, and cuddles him gingerly, still favoring her side. "I know, buddy. I missed having you there, but I didn't want to give him another target."

Large, dark eyes stare down at her, still reproachful even as he nuzzles her back.

"Just... give me a second to recover and--" Pain shoots through her side. "Okay, more than a second. Promise."

Cedric gives her one last nuzzle before snorting and motioning his head towards the building.

"Okay, buddy. Be back soon."

Malachite splits up the doses of belladonna and when Addie eats hers, she passes out almost immediately.

***

Instead of people, she dreams of places she has never seen, and which make no sense.

Castle Pennington isn't built into the side of a mountain. Now it's flying hundreds of feet in the clear grey sky, a single banner flapping in the breeze. On a field Vert, with Argent mountains Dexter and Sinister, with an Or rose Fess Point.

A bustling port town, with so many ships that it's a forest of masts and sails, murmurs and yells and laughs and cries. In the distance, on a hill, there is a stately manor with a single flag. Paly of six Argent and Azure, a bend counterchanged.

A battlefield that is both the Silver Circle and Eastern Solamnia, the blinding white snow streaked with dark blood, bodies littering the field. Rittermark, his sharp voice dulled with drink, sings a dirge while he carries a bloodstained banner westward.

Finally, a gauntlet pushes through the reality of the dreamscape and dismisses it with a slow wave, as though it were dragging through a still lake.

A faceless man with the long mustaches of knighthood steps forward.

Addie waits for it to become Rittermark, but it doesn't. It's obviously not Bathia.

It feels like her heart is pounding in her throat. She tries to open her mouth and say something, but the man shakes his head slowly.

The gauntlet reaches out to touch her shoulder, but then her eyes snap open.

***

Addie can't stop crying. The Pennington crest, the revelation of Brantley Pennington -- it's just too much.

She knows that Rittermark would've cuffed her for her lack of decorum, but it's been a long five days, and she's angry enough at the circumstances that she's demanding that Rittermark's shade give her a fucking break.

She accepts the blade, of course. They need it to complete their quest. But as she lifts the blade -- even lighter than the broadsword she's been carrying since the fight with the gibbering mouthers -- she feels like she's going to do something wrong.

She suddenly, desperately, wants to find Bathia. To show her the blade, to get some kind of guidance.

But Bathia has her own worries, and if they're not careful, they could do something catastrophic before the Cataclysm itself arrives.

That night, when they make camp outside of the ruins of Sylaire, Addie arranges her weapons on the ground, reverently touching each one and thanking the Sword of Justice for giving them into her care, she hesitates over Brantley's blade, and she starts crying again.

Did Rittermark know? Had her father instructed him that all Penningtons needed to be trained in the broadsword because of this blade? Bathia had had one too.

Rittermark is a sore spot for her, but Brantley...

Addie can only hope that he's willing to forgive her for not being good enough.


	35. Session 48: February 9, 2021 [6 Sirrimont 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This includes bits and pieces that happened during the session! Whenever I have one of these kinds of entries, I end up having a note preceding it about it.
> 
> This entry's note is, "Some of the conversation included is heavily paraphrased because I can't remember exact words. Oops?"

The third holy day of meditation and prayer was rainy, and they moved on before the heavens opened up and dumped buckets of rainwater on them.

In the grand scheme of things, she was happier being rained on than having her piety tested with a sudden ambush of monsters.

She prayed for the ability to heal her companions, and she was fairly sure her prayer was answered.

***

"We should move on," Malachite said.

Addie stared at the gigantic mushroom and its ring of attendants, and felt uneasy.

It was certainly Malachite's decision, of course -- allowing a guardian of the forest to continue their vigil undisturbed sounded reasonable. She imagined that she wouldn't want adventurers cluttering up the place with demands on her time if a patch of forest fell under her purview.

But Skammous had been worried about the time they had left, too. Malachite hadn't said it, but it felt like everyone was keeping an eye on the red comet when it wasn't pouring buckets.

So, when Melinora and TikTik argued that they should stay and investigate, Addie agreed with them. In their journeys, Malachite had been a quiet, steady presence. Everyone else in the group had spoken up from time to time -- the clerics to offer advice, Melinora to point out flaws in plans, TikTik because he's TikTik...

And now that she was staring at the mushroom ring, Addie could tell that she had been wrapped up in her own thoughts for far too long. Sure, she had been aware of her companions, but could two deaths have been prevented if she had been more in touch with the others?

Could more deaths be prevented if she spoke up instead of retreating into herself?

Malachite and TikTik went off into the forest to search for the local guardian, leaving Melinora behind to examine the mushroom ring.

Addie was tempted to follow, but decided against it.

If anyone had the best chance of speaking with the forest guardian without angering them, it was Malachite. Knowing herself, she'd open her mouth and unknowingly offer a deep insult.

This moment, these few hours, these belonged to Malachite.

Considering the ring of mushrooms, Addie removed the two-handed sword from its sheath and laid it respectfully before the mushrooms. Then she closed her eyes, touched her left shoulder, and prayed to the Fisher King.

***

Addie should've objected when Malachite slipped on the magic ring and changed into a nondescript city guard in front of her.

She _really_ should have, but she was also secretly relieved to not have to be standing in line for hours, trying to get into the city to see what in the world was going on.

***

Addie was so startled to see a priest addressing the crowd of refugees gathered in the city that it had taken her a minute to realize he was a priest dedicated to the Great Dragonlord.

When the priest started talking about the unholy abomination (made up of hundreds of bodies from the local cemetery? Was this Nathaire a follower of the Black Goat? Just how tall _was_ this thing?), Addie hesitated.

She needed to confer with the others.

There was a slight push against her back that made her sway a little in Cedric's saddle.

Addie turned back to find Melinora having reached out her hand and readying to push her again.

"This is your business," Melinora said, flicking her hands delicately in the direction of the platform where the priest was addressing the crowd. "Go on. Shoo."

"But--" Addie tried.

Melinora's expression was both amused and slightly annoyed. "You heard the archbishop, Addie. The city is in danger. Unholy abomination. Shoo."

Another push that looked like Melinora was making a real effort. More shooing motions.

"The others--"

"Go." Melinora's command was more effective than her physical push.

Addie turned forward with another slight nudge and made her way to the platform. The archbishop had been replaced by another older man, his robes darker than the priest's, but not completely black.

Cedric started to move forward, but Addie looked down quickly. "Ah, excuse me-- pardon me-- sorry-- just trying to get forward-- yes, thank you-- excuse me--"

Addie thought she was trying to apologize as quietly as possible so as to not interrupt the archbishop and the man in front of the cathedral (Gaspard du Nord? The man from the note!).

What everyone else saw in the town square was a knight in gleaming plate made from a tylor's hide, the medium shield strung across her back displaying the symbol of Kiri-Jolith, the blue and white stripes of her pennon richer in hue, her warhorse magnificent in his stride. To astonished onlookers, she even seemed to glow with the inner light of the blessing of the gods.

Truly, this was a Knight of Solamnia!

...who was also apologizing profusely and trying to guide her horse forward without stepping on anyone's foot.

Needless to say, this was kind of par for the course with Addie.

When she finally made it about ten feet from the archbishop and the man who she was fairly sure was Gaspard du Nord, the archbishop finally noticed her. "Sir-- Lady Knight, will you help us to vanquish this abomination?"

That was simple. "I will stop at nothing to kill this abomination, even if it costs me my life."

"And what shall we call you, Lady Knight, who will be our savior?"

Addie's mind completely blanked.

For years, Sir Rittermark had told her not to answer to the name Pennington, that it would be a death sentence. Revealing herself to be the lone survivor of the family line after the castle's sacking was sure to put a target on her back.

But the gods demanded honesty. How was anyone supposed to trust her if she hid behind aliases? How was anyone supposed to respect the Pennington family if she claimed to be someone else?

These people are doomed by the Cataclysm, a voice whispered in her mind. Averoigne will be lost in the intervening years, to disappear from the local maps of Kharolis. Knights were a copper-a-dozen before the Cataclysm. What was one more for the pile?

"I am Sir Adrianna Pennington, daughter of the rightful Keeper of the Lands of Pen-Llarcau," Addie said firmly. "Knight Clerist in service to the Sword of Justice."

For a moment, she wasn't a child who was thrown into the wider world, playing at being a warrior. She was a Knight of Solamnia, and she felt like she could make a difference.


	36. Session 49: February 16, 2021 [12 Sirrimont 350]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The archbishop of Paladine back in Vyones said that the city was going to be attacked by a colossus. (Sure, he also told the townspeople to basically go home and pray the evil away, but there was _some_ useful intelligence from him at some point.)
> 
> The thing is, it's one thing to intellectually know about the threat you've foolishly agreed to fight.
> 
> It's something entirely different to _hear_ it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I tried to write this to be absolutely terrifying, and just gave up because I wasn't scaring myself. If I can't make myself shit my own pants, how am I supposed to scare other people?
> 
> Second, if anyone is curious, the monstrosity that is heard but not seen is eighty feet tall.
> 
> And we're going to be fighting it next week.
> 
> Third, any fans of Over the Garden Wall will probably recognize the creature in Addie's dream.
> 
> (That dude is fucking _terrifying_.)

(thud)

It hadn't registered at first.

Addie had been traveling in silence, just meditative enough to be respectful while still keeping an eye on Cedric, her companions, and their surroundings. The morning had been crisp, the greys of her surroundings warmer than usual. For her fourth holy day in service to the Sword of Justice, the day promised to be a good one. Her god was pleased with her, and was blessing her.

That's what she had thought, at least.

(thud)

Cedric's pace had started to slow, his ears swiveling. Addie petted his mane, trying to be reassuring.

Malachite's eyes scanned their surroundings.

(thump)

TikTik's babbling brook of words trickled for a moment before he gamefully picked up the current again.

(thud-thump)

Somewhere ahead of them, they could hear a bird calling out, high and piercing. Some other birds answered in reply.

They continued on the path, frowns slowly overtaking faces.

(thump boom boom thud)

More bird calls ripped the stillness to pieces.

Addie frowned, cocking her head.

... those weren't birds.

(aaaa-thump aaaaa-thump-thump)

Somewhere ahead of them, a shriek rose.

And stopped mid-breath.

(bhhhhrrrrrrrmm)

"We're getting closer to the sound," Malachite said. Was there a slight waver in his voice?

Melinora dismounted lightly, trading Balthazar for her flying broom. Addie watched her smoothly ascend to the treeline.

(crrrrrrAAAAAAASSSSH)

She didn't pale -- her complexion was already ethereally fair to be captivating. But her expression flickered with something akin to concern.

The broom descended smoothly, and she addressed the rest of them.

"It appears the creature (RUN) has reached Malinbois. (AAAAAA-BSSSSH!) If we continue on our current course (AAAAA) we'll meet it before we're ready."

(JACQUE--BMMM)

Malachite nodded. "We should be turning-- (KRRSH) --the trail right about now anyway."

Addie stared at the trail ahead of them, at the bend that hid the village from view.

(AAAAAA-BMMM-addie-AAAAAA- **BOOM** -heyaddie?-AaaaAAA- **BOOM** -AAaaAAAa-BOOMBOOM **BOOM** -aaaAAA-CRRRRRAAAAAAK)

A hand gently touched her leg.

Addie slapped her hand at her belt to draw her sword as she wheeled on the intruder.

(JE VAIS LE DISTRAIRE!-- _SNNNNNNAAAAAAP_ )

"Addie?" TikTik looked up at her, eyes bright. "We're going this way now."

(NON, PIERRE--AAAAAAaaaaaa-- **CHOOM** )

Addie stared at him uncomprehendingly.

(VYONES--C'EST NOTRE SEULE--)

TikTik stared back, and then gave her a big grin as he started up his babbling stream of words, this time directed at Cedric.

Cedric turned and followed.

(BOOM.)

( **BOOM.** )

( _ **BOOM.**_ )

When she falls asleep, she finds herself in the dead of night, with no moons to light her way.

The only way she even knows that she's in a forest is that she can barely pick out the silhouettes of the trees against the starless sky.

This forest is dangerous. She must get out.

(The Fisher King would have a word to say with you about that.)

She wheels around, trying to find the source of the voice. Had it been behind her? Deeper in the trees?

(The forests are his dominion, after all.)

When her eyes finally pick out the first, she's startled to find a rider with a great helm, a pair of deer antlers distorting the silhouette.

(Is this what that insufferable cow sends?)

Addie feels something slam into her chest. If she hadn't been as strong as she was, it would've slammed her into the ground, crushed her ribs to splinters. Her right hand tightens on the lance she'd been holding at the time.

(So the ant thinks it can bite?)

To call the gesture the figure made a dismissive wave of its hand only shows just how little any human language could communicate its indifference.

The lance disappeared from her grip.

As her fingers close around air, Addie's only vague thought is that her father would be upset that a banner of their house is gone.

Two orbs of light flash into existence.

(The Black Goat will eat his fill on the wyrmling's city.)

Claws, large and powerful and _tearing_ , slam into the gaps in her armor. There are horrible raking tears, gouts of blood fall on the ground, and the heavy breathing of an overly large werewolf thunders in her ears.

And then a sword shimmers into existence, heavy and sure and unfamiliar in her grip. The glow of the blade is warm, almost comforting.

The orbs of light narrowed.

(Behold, a tooth.)

Addie steps forward--

_BOOM_

Addie freezes. The blade shakes in her trembling hands.

The orbs of light widened, brightened. And emanated malicious glee.

(I have your measure now, ant. Oh, this _will_ be fun.)

_**BOOM** _


	37. Session 45.5: February 27, 2021 [14 Sirrimont 350]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you know you're about to face an eighty-foot monstrosity in the morning, you generally feel like you need to put your affairs in order.
> 
> At least, Addie does.
> 
> If she can't be there herself to say these things, she can at least trust that someone is going to deliver them for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After what happened at game last night, I completely forgot to post the freaking letter that I wrote out.
> 
> Basically what happened is that Addie writes this letter after they planned out their strategy, and before they went to bed.
> 
> With a kender in the party, and Addie's deliberate lack of concern about her personal belongings around said kender, it's safe to say the person she's trusting with the letter already has it in their possession.
> 
> (For anyone who's not familiar with kender, here is a webpage you can read about them: [Kender!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kender_\(Dragonlance\)))

To Sir Arcturus Pennington, Rose Knight in Service to the Great Dragonlord, Rightful Keeper of the Lands of Pen-Llarcau,

If you have received this letter, I have fallen in battle. I apologize for the inconvenience that this may cause.

As of 4 Chislmont 350, Lady M. Pennington and Crown Knight John Rittermark, are safe on the interior of the island of Nostar. They are under magical protection that cannot be easily breached unless the guardians wish it, to the point where they cannot be located using magical means, if I am given to understand the situation correctly. Lady Pennington and Sir Rittermark have been living in comfort and safety in this location since 13 Hiddumont 337.

As of 23 Chislmont 350, the island of Nostar has been completely overrun by the White Dragonarmy under the command of Dragon Highlord Feal-Thas. I witnessed at least three white dragons, the eldest larger than three galleons lashed together side by side, the smallest approximating the size of a unit of cavalry numbering 20 in tight formation.

The only reasonable guesses I can make as to the situation on the ground are these:

1\. A reliable scout reported that the army appeared to be at least 100 members strong when he witnessed them firsthand in a war meeting. They were able to overrun the settlement of Drektown, numbering 1,000 citizens, located on the island's interior, and chase the city's inhabitants completely from the city. Those who could not flee were likely killed.

2\. They are using Nostar as a starting point in order to stage small incursions into mainland Ansalon. An expeditionary force of 10-15 were encountered in the sewers under the city of Deepwater, in Kharolis. (These were routed by a copper dragon who dwells under the city, Arla the Fierce. She seems unconcerned with affairs outside of the city, so she might be an ally as far as it might suit her needs. Proceed with polite caution.)

3\. Likely due to the activity on Nostar, other white dragons have made their way from the Ice Bay area northward along the coast. An adventuring company, the Phoenix Five, stated their intention to kill or drive off one of these creatures. May the gods of Good watch over their endeavor.

***

The foot soldiers of the White Dragonarmy are as follows:

1\. They appear to be men with scaly skin and appear to look like dragons. They stand on two legs, are capable of wielding weapons and wearing armor, and seem to have a language that may be related to the Draconic tongue. They are thinking creatures capable of using tactics in combat, and show no mercy. We've heard the term "draconian" used to refer to them.

2\. There are different colors and types of these warriors. Due to the proof of my bloodline, I am unable to describe the exact color of these creatures other than differing shades of grey.

A. When killed, one type will melt into a pool of acid, which will spray onto its killer. This can be especially dangerous if a soldier is surrounded by these creatures, and they each fall into their death throes in rapid succession. Gregor Uth Matar suffered numerous injuries before he was able to escape onto one of the ships in the harbor.

B. Another type will turn to stone when killed, trapping the killer's blade inside of it. The blade is not trapped forever, as one of my companions was able to retrieve his weapon, but the stone encasement means that the weapon cannot be used at all until it is freed.

C. A white-colored type has fully-formed wings, is capable of flight, and breathing ice on multiple targets. I only witnessed one in the army, but there could be others.

***

These are potential allies:

1\. General Drek, 42nd of His Name, is the hobgoblin leader of at least a portion of the refugees from Drektown. He and other hobgoblins converted to the worship of the Lightbringer, and follow the teachings discovered in the ruins of Pistoria, an Ergothian city that was destroyed during the Cataclysm.

General Drek is honorable and can be a useful ally. As of 19 Chislmont 350, he commanded 100 legionnaires. I believe at least 20 legionnaires had been left behind on Nostar in order to watch over the Silver Circle, a Pistorian temple dedicated to the Lightbringer, restored and overseen by Sacerdotem Eden.

2\. Sacerdotem Eden is a true priestess of the Lightbringer. Her healing miracles have been witnessed firsthand by reliable sources. She is also the hostage of Dragon Highlord Feal-Thas, most likely to neutralize General Drek from committing any forces to her rescue. Needless to say, rescuing her would be a morale boost to General Drek and his forces, as well as to any you would command.

On a personal note, General Drek, 42nd of His Name, is devoted to Sacerdotem Eden. If they have not already made vows to each other before the Lightbringer, I can only hope they will be able to do so if they are successfully reunited in this life. Her being held hostage was a severe enough blow that General Drek considered returning alone for her. Rescue Sacerdotem Eden, and you will win strong allies in General Drek and his forces.

3\. The crew of the Swiftspatha, a coastal drakkar, is manned by 56 hobgoblins. This crew brought my traveling companions and myself to the city of Deepwater. They are more conversant in the common tongue than some of the other inhabitants of Drektown, and were more willing to see us safely to our destination. As of 13 Bran 350, their stated intention was to travel northward along the western coast of Kharolis, towards the Qualinesti nation. Captain Valkrux commands the crew and carries a letter of goodwill from me to any ship that sails the colors of House Trent, as well as a bandanna I carried with the blue-and-white as proof. I do not know what colors the ship will fly.

3\. Barakas, minotaur leader of Boremium. He is interested in returning to home through a magical gate located on the interior of Nostar, near the settlement of Boremium. He will not take kindly to being enslaved, and will likely either be dead or biding his time to strike back at the dragonarmy.

4\. Abbot of Swords Barnabas Fellcastle spoke in my defense when my hearing was convened regarding the suitability of my joining the knighthood. He has spoken to me directly in his belief that merit should outweigh bloodline when considering which prospective candidates should advance among the Solamnic orders. I believe he could be a firm ally against any political complications Houses Trent and Pennington may currently be contending with.

5\. Master of Swords Baelin Greymantle placed me under a magical command to retake Castle Pennington, and report to Palanthas one year and one day to recount my deeds after my acceptance into the Order of the Sword on 17 Argon 350. If Houses Trent and Pennington had been disgraced beyond redemption, I do not believe this opportunity would have been offered in the first place. Master of Swords Greymantle did not initially believe that I should have been allowed to enter the knighthood, given my lineage. I have been informed that he was swayed by the testimony of the knights at my hearing.

6\. My traveling companions, who are as follows:

Lady Melinora of the Silvanesti House of Brightgleam, Wizardess of the Red Robes  
TikTik Bramblebing, kender bard  
Malachite, follower of the Fisher King

It is my hope that they will continue traveling together in the event of my death, but I would not fault them for deciding to go their separate ways. They may have gathered more in-depth intelligence after my demise. Please listen to them, and please furnish Master Bramblebing with scones, if at all possible. He will most likely be the bearer of this letter if it reaches you.

This is a true and faithful report to the best of my knowledge as of 14 Sirrimont 350.

May the Fisher King, the Sword of Justice, and the Great Dragonlord watch over you in your endeavors.

Est Sularus oth Mithas.

Knight Clerist Adrianna Pennington, Solamnic Order of the Sword  
Daughter of Arcturus Pennington  
Rightful Keeper of the Lands of Pen-Llarcau


	38. Session 50: March 2, 2021 [15 Sirrimont 350]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first draft of the entry for today's game.
> 
> Let's just say that I was really frustrated with myself because I felt like my role-playing was pretty shitty, I should've made sure that I was effective at what I was supposed to be doing, and I need to calm down in general.
> 
> ETA: I've calmed down, and I think it's still okay.

Addie pretends that the deafening roars of the colossus are the reason she doesn't hear the people in the tavern, drinking to their health and celebrating the fact that their city wasn't demolished by an undead horror.

She doesn't feel like celebrating.

***

Taking the green-stripped pine tree to the entire length of her body is just standard. It's what she's built for.

Watching that same tree smash into Malachite isn't.

She knows that the moment would've been over in an instant -- one moment you're there, the next you're on the ground. It's that fast.

But each time she thinks about it, time slows to a crawl. Her mind is ever so lovingly reconstructing every minute detail -- the pine roaring through the air, the moment it slammed into the top of Malachite's head, the bones in his neck popping, the spine giving way. It's only when the body is plummeting to the ground and slamming into the earth that the speed picks up again.

After that, all she can feel is impotent rage.

Her entire point is to stand between her companions and take the blows meant for them.

("What else are you good for?" Rittermark sneered. "Get up, and take your first stance again.")

This is the second time she's seen not just a traveling companion, but Malachite specifically, die in front of her eyes.

Addie lands on the ground near Malachite's broken body. Nearby, Brantley Pennington's sword -- the sword that slew the undead when Brantley was a traveling companion of Vinas Solamnus himself, the very same sword that flew out of her hands when she tried to stab the colossus in a wild fury -- lay on the ground, glowing with a pale light.

She picks up the sword, wipes it off, and sheathes it because Rittermark taught her proper care of her weaponry, but it's mechanical. When she picks up Malachite's body and uses her magical flight to head towards the city, her throat is tight.

They have a scroll of resurrection. The archbishop of Paladine can bring him back from the dead. Malachite will be fine.

Addie doesn't listen to any congratulations. Anyone patting her on the back might as well be patting a wooden post.

***

The resurrection ritual is beautiful, if momentarily hair-raising.

For a moment, Addie can imagine someone else standing where the archbishop is. Someone tall with scaly skin, with a face that never smiles. Or maybe a grizzled dwarf, setting himself to the work of putting a battered skeleton back together again.

When Addie lifts her head from her prayers though, she sees someone else entirely when she catches sight of the archbishop.

A tall man with the mustaches of Solamnic knighthood, passing his hands over the body of the man who'd been crushed in the avalanche. Before her eyes, she sees the ribs reconstruct themselves--

No, she sees the flesh blacken and char, catching flame as if it were made of so much pine and birch. Malachite burns away under the flames created by the spell. For long minutes, the heat is almost too much to stand, but then the body is reduced to ash, and then erupts into fire.

(Unbeknownst to her, Habbakuk is also known as the Blue Phoenix. But that is something only Melinora would be aware of.)

When the fire dies down again, absorbing into the newly-remade body, Malachite sits up, renewed and reenergized. He really has arisen from the ashes, stronger than before.

***

That night, when Addie dreams, she dreams of Rittermark.

She remembers the sheets of rain and mist hammering against her as she was forced to stand in the rain for most of the morning, perfectly at attention at all times.

From the shelter of the porch, she could see the man standing, slight without his armor, but his glare boring into her as though his irritation alone could burn her alive.

"That's not what you're really thinking of," Rittermark's voice says, just behind her right ear.

The day switches to another, when she was nine or ten, when she was ordered to fetch buckets of water from the stream for Rittermark's bath. Only one of the buckets had had a hole in it, and every time the heavier bucket overbalanced her, she would fall on the ground and skin her knee.

"I _said_ that's not what you're really thinking of, girl."

Another day, when Addie is thirteen, when she's fallen to the ground in full armor and Rittermark is grinding the heel of his boot into her shoulder blade.

"I would highly suggest you stop playing the fool with me," Rittermark whispered.

Suddenly, Addie is facing down a pack of ghouls on top of Cedric, her sword flying out of her hands.

"You _do_ have a habit of dropping your weapon, don't you?" the dark voice had a thread of amusement running through it. "You're almost there."

She felt a hand rest on her shoulder. Then she felt it squeeze hard enough to nearly make her gasp from the pain.

And then a gauntleted hand pointed over to her right. "Think more... selfishly."

***

The hill giant, the one she ran through with her lance, the thrill of exhilaration, satisfaction coursing through her, making her feel as though she were flying.

And then a single bullet from a hoopak, sailing through the air, only to smack into the giant's forehead.

***

The grotesque beast inside the laboratory, its tentacles whipping around and lashing out. How it sailed over to Melinora, and then turned invisible.

The muscles in Addie's arms bunched, the sword swung, the tentacle went flying--

And then Malachite's throwing axe slammed into it. Then it slammed _through_ it. And then it slammed one last time before smacking into his palm.

***

The overly large werewolf, having been forced to revert to its human form, was hurriedly casting spells.

Addie saw it, and started running towards it.

A throwing axe smashed into its frame.

And then, a heavy, pale ball slammed into its head. Just as she reached him, her two-handed sword at the ready, one of the man's eyeballs popped out of its socket as the body collapsed on the ground.

***

Addie watched the sword that had belonged to the progenitor of her bloodline fly out of her hands, the blood pouring from between the pieces of her armor covering the sword's grip. It spun wildly before slamming into the ground near Malachite's body.

Letting out a scream of frustration, she reached down to grab the broadsword she kept on her hip, turning back to the creature.

Just in time to see a fragile ceramic pot fly in a graceful arc through the air, and smash into the creature's nose.

Before her eyes, she saw shafts of light erupt from the creature's body, the corpses that made up its various limbs screaming and moaning in agony before they ripped off and plummeted to the ground, the corpses melting away and landing with wet squelches of rotted flesh until finally, the only thing that was left was a dwarf in tattered black robes, his face locked in a rictus of horror as it stared sightlessly into the morning sky.

***

"My, my, you really have been denied the glory so many times, hmm," Rittermark purrs. "Each one of those just _burns_ in you. Could you imagine what would've happened if you'd had an _audience_ each time?"

Addie tries to look away, but she sees the men that Malachite had insisted they bring with them -- Maynard said they would break and run, why would you drag them out to be slaughtered? -- emerging from the trees. They surround the four of them, cheering and whooping.

(That didn't happen.)

TikTik is picked up and carried on the shoulders of two different men, and carried away from the colossus's corpse to cheers and cries for celebration. He soaks up the attention, his grin wide and happy because he's being celebrated as a hero, not disregarded because he's a kender. 

"Stop it," she croaks.

"Why? Because you didn't fulfil your promise to these people?"

The scene changes to a few days prior, Addie astride Cedric, addressing the archbishop of Paladine. "I will stop at nothing to kill this abomination, even if it costs me my life."

"Because you didn't get the _glory?_ " 

The scene changes back to the townspeople, cheering on TikTik even harder than before.

"Because you couldn't even accomplish your most basic purpose in this group?"

Malachite's body, a broken heap, lays on the ground.

"Bold words for a petty child," Rittermark purrs in her ear again. His amused snort ruffles the hair that's grown past her ears.

"It's still dead," she says.

"But you didn't make the killing blow, did you?" The smile in his voice is sharper than a razor. "You just dropped your dose of black powder like a fool instead of ensuring that it would be effective."

"I--"

" _Melinora_ went into the creature's mouth to make sure she wouldn't miss!"

A pair of hands grabs her as though she weighed no more than a ragdoll and threw her to the ground. When she looked up at him, Rittermark stared down at her, his eyes completely black. As he spoke, wisps of black smoke rose from his lips and curled past his slicked-back hair.

"But of course, such wisdom is wasted on you."

He leaned down close, grabbing the front of her armor and pulling her up. The depths of blackness in his eyes seemed to be sucking the soul out of her body.

"Perhaps the nothingness of eternity will be a better teacher."

Blackness enveloped her, sending her hurtling downwards.

Twin points of light appeared high above her, and then winked out.


End file.
